


Elysium

by BronteRising



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gang World, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bellarke, Domestic Violence, Drug Abuse, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kidnapping, Murder, Possessive Behavior, Seperation Anxiety, Slow Burn, Stalking, Stockholm Syndrome, Violence, anxiety disorders, codependancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-07-29 07:56:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 40,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16259966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BronteRising/pseuds/BronteRising
Summary: Bellamy Blake is a killer, hell bent on revenge. Clarke Griffin is a college student with a dark and cloudy past. When Clarke is taken hostage and forced to work with Bellamy in order to survive, will the be able to get passed their differences, and see the people behind the scars? A stalker seeks to finish something Clarke started a long time ago. When they come head to head, will Bellamy Blake protect her? Or will he add another victim to his list?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wanted to try something different. Thought it might be cool. Feedback is appreciated.  
> If you want to follow me on Tumblr my user is bronterising. I write fanfictions in reader insert format there.  
> This is my first offical Bellarke story, please be nice.  
> I'm excited to get this started and share my work with you.
> 
> ALL HATE COMMENTS WILL BE DELETED. Not comments that give genuine criticism and ways to make the story better. But real hate comments will be deleted. If you don't like Bellarke this is not for you.
> 
> (P.S. Clarke and Bellamy are a bit OOC, especially Clarke, but as the story moves forward that will be explained. Please enjoy)

Clarke woke up with a sense of ominous dread. It’s not ever present, it doesn’t wrap around her body and cover her with its presence. But it’s there, in the shadows, something is coming, and she won’t be able to stop it.

  


It’s inevitable, the second she walks out of her dorm and down towards her car.

  


She pulled into the gas station a few blocks away from her job, rolling her eyes at the gas prices, and slightly annoyed with how they always seemed to sky rocket when she needed to fill up, but plummet when she was all good. She checked her watch for the time, and mentally scolded herself, if she didn’t hurry she would be late. She stepped out of her car with her wallet, and huffed in annoyance, when she realized she didn’t have her credit card and had to go inside to use cash.

 _What a great start to my day._ She thought, stomping towards the building.

  


She sighed, upon stepping into the cool air conditioned building, and instead of walking up to the counter and just paying for her gas she eyed the slushie station. Clarke loved slushies, and she could never pass one up. She smiled to herself thinking, _fuck it,_ and strolled over to the slushie machine. There was a man standing to the side of the machine, where the fridges held the drinks, he had a Redbull in one hand and a smartwater in the other. He wore an unbuttoned, navy blue flannel with a black t shirt and grease stained blue jeans. His eyes were covered by dark sunglasses and his hair was covered by a blue and white striped baseball cap. Clarke was hyper aware of his presence, making sure to keep aware of her surroundings. She didn’t like the vibe she was getting from this guy. He scared her. Seemed like trouble.

  


But if he noticed her presence, he never showed it.

  


So Clarke relaxed her shoulders, shaking her head and began to ponder the flavor she’d get today. Clarke had never been one for conversation anyway. She always kept to herself, due to some social anxieties and quirks she had, that made her ‘unapproachable’ as her mother had put it. But if you had a doctor mother who abused prescription medication and neglected you after your father’s death, you might have some fucked up issues too.

  


Which is why she found it strange when she felt the man’s presence shift, he’d come closer to her, and she could feel him staring. She kept her eyes down, feeling her cheeks heat up as she pulled a cup from the slot and got ready to pour her syrupy drink into it.

  


"What's your favorite flavour?" He asked suddenly, and the deep rough voice startled her. She twitched and peek at him curiously through her hair, that thankfully, covered most of her face.

  


"Coke." she answered meekly. The man cracked a smile, his teeth were perfect and bright. It was almost, alluring. Definitely charming.

  


“Really?” he asked, reaching out and taking the cup from her. She didn’t have time to react, before he plucked it from her hands and filled it with the drink of her choice. “I like blue raspberry best….sometimes cherry’s good too.” He handed her the drink and she took it hesitantly. He chuckled at her demeanor, cocking his head to the side, that ridiculously handsome smile still plastered to his face.

  


“Thank you.” she managed after a moment, she placed a lid on her drink and grabbed a straw.

  


“No problem,” he replied, following her as she turned towards the cashier. She can feel the panic and the nerves rising within her. Why was he following her? As they stood in line, waiting for the other customers to leave, she could feel the man change, his whole demeanor took on a darker, more serious tone. She curled in on herself, hoping he wouldn’t try and follow her to her car. Clarke hadn’t always been this way. Afraid of germs, afraid of touch….Basic human contact. No. If you looked at her high school yearbook, you wouldn’t even think it was the same person. She used to be bright, and outgoing, willing to chat it up with just about anybody, a regular teenage girl. Until Finn. And...Lexa…. She shook her head, trying to focus on the task at hand, get the drink. Get the gas. Go to work. She took a deep breath, she would complete her goals today.

  


“Hi! How are you today?” a cheery red head smiled at Clarke, she tried to smile back, and return the enthusiasm, but the feeling of dread was starting to creep back up on her and she couldn’t shake it off.

  


“I’m fine thank you. Ten dollars on pump-”

  


“Shut up.” Clarke feels a strong hand wrap around her upper arm and tug her back, she looked up to see the man who had been by the slurpee machine, pulling her towards him, a pistol in his hand, pointed right at the cashier. Clarke squeaked as the man pulls her into him, jabbing the gun into her side. “Give me all the money in the register, or you, and her die. Now!” Clarke flinches at the last word, which he snarled at the cashier. She had her hands up, tears streaming down her face. “Move.” he ordered. The cashier slammed a metal grate down and an alarm began to sound. The man held onto Clarke even harder, yanking her around as he turned to find an exit. “Fuck!” he exclaimed. Clarke shifted, trying to wriggle free. He pulled her closer, he was big and intimidating. He reminded her of Finn. “You’re not going anywhere.” he said. “I need you. Come on.”

  


Panic began to rise within Clarke, she could feel her breath growing more ragged by the minute, all the things she needed to get down shooting through her head. The man dragged her towards the back of the store and into the warehouse, once inside, he shut and locked the door, shoving her from him and holding the gun to her. Surprisingly, the slushie hasn’t spilled. “Don’t move.” he said coldly. A sob escaped her throat, the bubble was rising, she could feel the panic getting ready to burst.

  


“P-Please,” she rasped, her throat was closing, she couldn’t breathe.“I-I have money.”

  


“I don’t want your money. We need to get out of here.” Clarke looked at him confused.

  


“W-we?” the man grabbed her again, yanking her towards the back of the warehouse.

  


“Yeah. We. You’re my hostage,” fear filled her as the man’s lips curled into a smile. He pulled a set of handcuffs from his pocket and yanked her forward, cuffing her. “Don’t struggle. And you live.” She was about to faint. The alarm was blaring, but through the sound Clarke could hear the doors bursting open. The same doors she had walked into only minutes ago, it seemed like hours now. The man cursed again, kicking the back exit door open and shoving her through.

  


________________ 

They hid behind a dumpster, he peaked out, looking around to see cops, flooding into the gas station, Clarke shifted uncomfortably, the cuffs were tight on her wrists, digging into her skin. He didn’t seem to notice. “A-are you a criminal?” she asked. He didn’t even turn to look at her, inching forward slowly, his hand still gripping her tightly.

  


"Yeah."that was it. No explanation. Just a straight no bull answer. As the cops go into the front of the store, the man gripped her tightly and yanked her towards an older Astro van. Clarke pondered why no cops were looking over towards them, how no one could see he was taking her. But it would be just her luck. He threw the passenger door open, shoving her inside, before running around to the otherside and climbing in. The door shut with a slam and he pealed out and away, the cops just noticing as you leave the gas station. The sweet and tasty slushie, left on the floor of the warehouse.

  


____________ 

The van was loud. It sent deep rumbles of vibration all the way down to Clarke’s bones. Like a  massage after the chaos back at the gas station. Her hands are still bound but the man had finally stowed the gun. There was no handle on the inside of the passenger door. She was stuck and she stayed quiet. Out of fear. The man drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, listening to a song on the radio. The silence wasn’t tense, but it wasn’t comfortable either. "Are you going to kill me?" she asked softly, so low he might not even hear her. He stopped drumming and turned to look at her for the first time since he’d taken her.

  


"Wasn't planning on it." He replied. “I just needed some cash….but damn that cashier was quick on her feet. Taking you was the only way I would have gotten out of there alive.”

  


“W-why do you say that?” she asked, curiosity getting the better of her. He cocked his eyebrow, finally taking off his glasses, his eyes were a deep brown, almost black.

  


“You...You don’t watch tv do you ?” she shook her head. The news gave her anxiety. The only time she left her dorm was for class or work. Necessities. She kept to herself. He chuckled and shook his head as he turned on his turn signal.

  


“Why do you ask?” she asked a bit louder. She watched his adam’s apple bob and his eyes scan the road, searching for the right answer.

  


“I uh, I’m in a business most don’t agree with.” he said.

  


She decided to push a little further, “what do you do?”

  


“I’m...I’ve killed people.” he said it solemnly. Like he wasn’t proud of it, but he had to do it. Clarke feels the panic begin to rise again. He cleared his throat. “What’s your name?” he asked, changing the subject.

  


“M-my…..it’s Clarke.” she said, wishing she sounded braver than she felt. “Clarke Griffin.”

  


“And’ I’m Bellamy Blake.” he responded, “You know, you’re the first person I’ve met in a long time who didn’t know who I am.” he sighed, clicking his tongue, “You’re a weird girl.”

  


“Says the man who just admitted to murder being his occupation.” he laughed, shaking his head. She didn’t want to admit it, but she liked his laugh.

  


“Yeah, maybe we’re both just weird.” He paused and then said carefully, "I won’t hurt you."the tone of his voice is softer, calmer, and surprisingly soothing "Unless you _make_ me." He added with emphasize on ‘make’.

  


“H-How many…” Clarke trailed off, unable to finish her question. It was strange, she could never talk and be this open with just anybody. She usually just kept quiet, and stayed in her lane. She wasn’t the type of person to make waves. Not since before…..

  


“How many people have I killed?” Bellamy finished for her. She nodded, glad to have been pulled back from the darkness of her thoughts. He can tell that she’s got something going on. She looked so small and fragile. Like the china plates his mom used to collect. He really didn’t want to hurt her, and silently prayed he’d never have to. He bit his lip, trying to think of the right answer, “If I had to count….possibly sixty.” Clarke’s mouth fell open in shock.

  


“Oh my….” she instinctively moved further from him. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of rejection. She focused on her shoes, on the scuffs and the threads in the laces, anything to keep her from going crazy. They sat in silence for a long while. Bellamy began to twitch as it stretched, it was slight, barely noticeable. Except she saw it. "So where are you taking me?" Clarke asked awkwardly, eyes darting to his before looking ahead again

  


“I’m taking you to my family. You’re my hostage for now, but they’ll decide if you know too much or have seen too much.” Clarke swallowed hard, wondering what that could possibly mean. He must have sensed her worry, because he reached out, only to pull his hand back when she flinched, with a sigh. “Just don’t worry….You seem harmless enough.”

  


“Can you take the cuffs off? Please? They hurt.” Bellamy pulls off onto the side of the road.

  


"Don't try anything, okay? I have a gun." Bellamy met her eyes as he shut off the van and turned to her, he looked down to her hands. He quickly unlocked the cuffs and sat back. She rubbed her swollen wrists and he started the car back up.

  


“Are you scared?” he asked after a while. Clarke looked up at him again. She noticed he had freckles, they were light and scattered across his cheeks...He’d be a good subject to draw.

  


“I….” she bit her lip, unsure of how to proceed, “I’m terrified…..I know that mentally….But I guess I’ve shut down. I don’t really feeling anything.” “Why?” he asked, suddenly curious. Did he want her to be afraid. “I’ve been in….I’ve been in a lot worse situations,” he scoffed at that, disbelievingly.

  


“You’re my hostage. I had you at gunpoint. I’m kidnapping you and you’ve been in worse situations?” she smiles at how ludicrous it sounds.

  


“It does sound crazy but….I don’t know. I have a lot of anxiety disorders and I’ve been struggling with depression so I….maybe this was too much and my body is protecting itself.” he pursed his lips together.

  


“How old are you?”

  


“19.”

  


_Shit._ He thought. _She’s just a kid._ “I’m sorry it had to be you.” she gave him a questioning look. “In the store. If you hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t have taken you.” she nodded, not quite accepting his apology, but understanding, that he knew, she had been through some shit.

  


“I haven’t…..I haven’t left this town my entire life.” she said quietly, changing the subject. Bellamy picked up her switch in demeanor and followed it, trying to lighten the mood.

  


“Yeah?” she tried to smile, it was small and tight, but she could feel the uneasiness begin to grow again.

  


“Yeah….where is your family?”

  


“You’ll see,” he said, flashing her a grin. “You’ll like it better than this dump.” he snorted as they passed the ‘Leaving Arcadia’ sign.

  


“Why did you come here?” she asked before she could stop herself.

  


“Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to.” she nodded, sinking back into her seat. Bellamy cleared his throat and turned the radio back up. “Better settle in. We got a long drive…..what kind of music do you like?”

  


________

He shut the door behind him. The dorm room was quiet and he couldn’t feel her presence as he looked around. Everything was in it’s rightful place, meticulous and germ freak as ever. He missed her so much. He walked over to Clarke’s desk and lifted the sketchbook that sat open on it, he touched the lines of the person she drew, imagining the way she drew it, the way her hands moved. His heart was racing. It was 4pm and she should have been home now. She didn’t have any friends.

  


Where was she?

  


Where was the girl he’d been searching for for so long?

  


He was dying to see her again…….


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to figure out an actual writing schedule, as for now I will update when I can. 
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr if you'd like: bronterising
> 
> hope you enjoy the chapter

Bellamy pulled off onto a dirt road, the sky was crimson and orange as the sun went down. It had been three days since the gas station, three days of constant driving. And while she had managed to grasp sleep here and there, Bellamy drove on. She didn't know how he stayed awake, but he had managed. 

Clarke felt her anxieties clawing at her, ready to drag her beneath the surface, she was filthy, her hair, oily and greasy, it smelled like sweat. Her teeth hadn't been brushed and she could feel the germs, literally smell the overall, overwhelming stench of her body. She was disgusting. 

Bellamy parked in a wooded area, back away from the road. Clarke looked at him wearily as he unbuckled and hopped out of the van. She watched him trudge around to her door and throw it open.

“Get out. Come on.” Clarke fumbled with her seat belt, moving as quickly as she could, but not quick enough for him. He grabbed her hand and yanked her from the seat, she stumbled, but he caught her with ease, setting her steady on her feet. 

“Y-you said you wouldn't hurt me.” Clarke whimpered. She backed away, as he opened the back sliding door. He hopped up into the van, turning to look at her.

"No. We're gonna sleep. C’mere.” He knelt, extending his hands out. Clarke peaked around him to see a dirty old mattress covered in rumpled blankets and sheets. A tingling sensation made it's way up her spine, as her anxiety wrapped it's ugly hands around her throat. She began to hyperventilate. 

“Clarke?” Bellamy asked, concern lacing his words. He jumped down and came to her. Unsure of what else to do, he took her hands in his. His nails were dirty. She screams internally, unused to touch by others. “Clarke look at me. Breathe. What's wrong?” he placed a hand on her cheek, making her stomach lurch. She couldn't shake it off. “Look at me.” He said again, she tilted her head to look at his face. He was breathing in an exaggerated fashion, trying to help her. And as cheesy as she always thought that was, she found it endearing now. 

They hadn't been this close before, and as she tried to slow down her breathing she studied him. Really studied him for the first time. 

He didn't have his cap on and she saw he had thick black hair, it fell down over his eyebrows and curled below his ears. There was a small scar on his upper lip, and the freckles on his face seemed to dance in the fading sunlight.as her breathing steadied, she stared at him in awe. He was kinda…..beautiful. 

“You ok?” he asked, stepping back, giving her her space again. She shook her head. 

“I can't sleep on that.” She mumbled, blush rising to her cheeks. 

“what?” he glanced back, “why not?” 

“Germs. A-and…..”

“And?”

“I've never slept with a man before….” He raised an eyebrow, she didn't explain what she meant.

“Okay,” he said annoyed, dragging a hand over his face. “you're like, the worst hostage ever,” he chuckled. 

“I'm still a hostage?” 

“What _else_ would you be?” She shrugged. 

“I don't know…..just doesn't feel like a hostage situation anymore.” It hadn't since the first day. They spent hours at a time cooped up together in the car. They weren't friends, but they weren't enemies either. It was a weird in between. 

“Let's get something straight.” Bellamy stepped back up to her, he crowded her space, making her feel small. “You're not free. Not yet. My family says you can go I'll take you home. You try to run, and I _will_ hurt you Clarke,” his voice was low, his eyes serious, “and don't get me wrong. You're all right. You seem like a good kid. So don't give me a reason to hurt you. I don't want to.” 

“I-Im sorry,” she whimpered. “I guess I got used to-”

“ _Don't_ get used to me. This situation is temporary. You'll be back in your cushy old life soon enough.” He turned, slamming the van door shut. “Get in.” He was in a bad mood. 

“Where are we going?”

“The laundromat.”

\--------------------------

The ride is quiet. Clarke can feel the tension rolling off of Bellamy. She didn't know what exactly set him off, maybe her anxiety about germs? Whatever it was, she couldn't blame him. She knew she was a handful. 

The parking lot is empty, save for Bellamy's van and one other car, a little further down the way. The fluorescent bright lights shine brightly from within the building. Bellamy reaches behind his seat, pulling two baseball caps out, and hands one to Clarke. 

“Put this on. Keep your head down and don't tell anyone who you are. Understand?” She nodded. He tugged the cap over his head and opened the door. Clarke followed suit, watching him yank open the rear door and start pulling out the blankets and sheets. He stopped, looking over his shoulder. “You gonna help?” he asked. 

As much as she didn't want to make him mad, she couldn't do it, “no.” She said quietly.  Bellamy just huffed and rolled his eyes. 

“Such a fucking _princess_.” The words stung. There were a thousand other reasons she should be crying at this moment in time, but instead she's hurt and on the verge of tears cuz he thinks she's some spoiled brat. “Can you at least open the door for me?” She turns without a word to hold the door for him

It's quiet, except for the machines and a tv that's playing the news. Great. Clarke thought. She went to the bathroom and grabbed some paper towels, taking them with her towards the table she had first seen, while Bellamy loads the blankets and sheets. She wiped down the table meticulously, making sure to catch, what looked like a soda stain, that had been left there. 

Bellamy fell into the chair across from her. She could tell he was completely exhausted, and this made her feel bad. Why couldn't she be normal? That was all she wanted. Nothing else. Just to be normal, and not have people look at her like she was a freak. 

“Mysophobia.” Clarke said suddenly. Bellamy grunted, his eyes were closed, head in hand, but he acknowledged her. 

“What's that?” he asked.

“Fear of germs basically….When I was a kid my dad died, and my mom started abusing pain medication as a way to cope. Instead of taking care of me she laid on the couch a lot or in bed, high as a kite. The house was always dirty, flies and gnats were everywhere and mice poop was all over the place too. It was really dirty and disgusting.” She takes a quick glance to see Bellamy looking at her with tired eyes. “The school reported my mom to children services, I got taken away while she went to rehab. I stayed with my best friend and his family for a little while. Until my mom got better….That’s when she met Marcus, he's a great guy, and he really helped her. By that time I had already started going to therapy for my anxieties and he was very supportive. He’s a good guy. I kept everything under control until my senior year of high school….” She trailed off, lost in thought, no longer caring if he was paying attention. She just needed to tell someone. Someone other than her psychobabble shrink. “I’d never been in a relationship, so when I met Lexa I really fell for her. Hard….I had always considered myself straight, until I met her, she changed everything for me, and we loved each other a lot. She helped me tell my mom I was Bi. She didn't care that I was a clean freak. She saw me for me and she loved every bit of me.” Clarke smiled, thinking of her former girlfriend fondly. Lexa had been so beautiful, and strong and brave, everything she wasn't. “She brought something out of me, I didn't even know was there, she helped me become outgoing and confident. I felt like I could conquer the world, with her by my side….but then...Finn Collins came to our school.” She closed her eyes and shuddered, even his name still gave her chills. “He latched onto me right away, and had tried very hard to get me to break up with Lexa to be with him. He started stalking me and wouldn't leave either of us alone...he didn't stop, it continued all the way up through senior year,” Clarke felt a lump in her throat, it was growing, and she had to blink back her tears, “he killed her. He killed Lexa. Shot her right in front of everybody.” She couldn't keep the tears from falling now. “he just walked up as we were entering the school, put the gun to her head and pulled the trigger….I….I was standing right next to her, her blood was all over everywhere. And he looked me in the eyes and said ‘you did this. This is your fault.’....he still hasn't been caught. He's been on the run for two years. And I….i've been even more messed up, ever since….”  Clarke finished quickly, not sure if he was even listening anymore. Just to be able to talk made her feel a new sense of relief. 

 

“Why are you telling me this?” Bellamy's voice isn't annoyed or angry. There is sympathy layered beneath his words, so Clarke looked up. Bellamy's face was blank, he stared at his hands in his lap. 

“I just didn't want you to really believe I'm a spoiled Princess….Im the furthest thing from it.”

“My opinion shouldn't matter to you.” 

“But you're the only one in a hundred mile radius I know. So it does.”

“Jesus Clarke, you don't _know_ me.” She flinched at the way he snapped. I am your captor,” he whispered the word. “This isn't a vacation. I'm not your friend and I don't need to hear your life story.” 

“B-but I thought-”

“Whatever you thought is wrong. Look,” he leaned forward. “I'll do what I can to to keep my family from killing you, but whatever they decide I have to do. And as fucked up as your life has been you couldn't handle mine for a minute, You don't have the stomach for it. This isn't destiny or fate it's a temporary crossing of paths. So don't trust me. Don't get used to me. Just don't. Just keep your head down and mouth shut.” Clarke was on the verge of tears again. 

“But the sheets-”

“If washing some fucking sheets, keeps you compliant I'll do it. Nothing more.” He stood, wiping his hands on his pants. “Don't mistake me for a good guy. I'm not.” Clarke sniffed, unable to stop the tears. Bellamy sighed, annoyance subsiding, he ran his hand through his hair. “I'm going to the bathroom. Don't move.”

Clarke sat in stunned silence for a moment, truly processing the last three days for the first time. Bellamy was only being nice to keep her docile. Keep her from trying to run or find help. He only conversed with her in the van when she initiated conversation, meaning he really didn't care, probably didn't even like her as a person. She must be one fucked up girl if even an admitted _serial killer_ didn't like her. 

She looked towards the bathroom, if she was that much of an inconvenience to him she would just leave then. She flung the hat off her head and walked to the door without a second thought about it. 

 

She had no idea where she was. It was dark out now, the sun long gone and a cool wind was blowing, leaving goose bumps on her arms. She shivered slightly, taking a deep breath and trying not to panic. 

“Okay,” she muttered, “Look for help. A police man, mom with kids, anybody.” She scanned the street to see it mostly empty, most people were inside the shops and restaurants, escaping the first chills of autumn. Clarke decided to walk towards a Subway down the road, passing by the same alley of the laundromat and the building beside it. 

_“Hello_ pretty.” before she could even get halfway down the sidewalk, arms burst forward from the dark alley, one dirty, smelly hand clamped over her mouth, the other wrapped around her waist, dragging her further back into the darkness. “You're mine,” a ragged voice chuckled against her ear. Clarke gagged as alcohol and cigarette breath wafted into her face. Panic seized her as she was drug further into the darkness of the alley.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is substance abuse and attempted sexual assault in this chapter. Do NOT read if you are triggered by either of those things. 
> 
> As always, you can find me on tumblr: bronterising
> 
> Enjoy the chapter <3

Bellamy splashed some water on his face, rubbing his tired eyes, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the little vial he kept with him. It was the only way he kept going when he was working like this, days on end, with no break, he opened the cap and made a small line of the white powder on the back of his hand. He lifted it to his nose, and inhaled. “ _Ah,_ yeah,” he grunted, tilting his head back, he could feel the powder sliding down his throat. He leaned forward and looked at his watery eyes in the mirror. “Man up. Come on Bellamy. She just a scared little girl. She’ll be okay,” he mumbled, before pushing himself off the sink and leaving the bathroom. 

He did feel bad for what he said. Clarke just pushed and pushed, this girl was getting under his skin.  _  
_

_‘I’m the furthest thing from it.’_ Her words echoed in his head. And he wasn’t a good guy.    


He was pulled from his thoughts, when he rounded the corner to see her seat empty. He looked around, walked towards the women’s restroom, she wasn’t in there, he looked. _Where the fuck did she….._   


It takes him a minute.    


But he gets it.   


Sheets and blankets abandoned, he darts towards the doors, bursting out into the cool night air. 

  
  


Clarke struggled, kicking her feet and screaming against the hand clamped over her mouth. Tears stream down her face. How could she be so stupid. She didn’t even know where she was. She should have stayed. Even if Bellamy was a killer, he wouldn’t have hurt her. He said so. The man holding her, buries his face in her hair, taking in her scent. She does throw up, the stench of him was too much to bear.    


_“Fuck!”_ The man shoved her against the brick wall of the laundromat building. He grabbed one wrist and pinned it above her head, the other he held behind her back. Her mouth free now, she sobbed, loud and broken, unable to think of anything except her regret. She should have stayed put. The man chuckled, pressing against her, she felt something small and hard press against her butt. “Gonna teach you not to throw up on me you little bitch,” he grunted. He held her down with his body, freeing one hand, he reached around her front, shoving his hand in her pants.    


_“BELLAMY!”_ It was loud. It echoed. The scream ripped through her throat, she couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t do anything but scream for him. _“BELLAMY!”_ The man grabbed a fistfull of her hair, yanking her head back, and slamming it against the brick. White hot pain seared across her brain, she crumpled to the ground, her ears were ringing, and her eyes stung. “B...Bellamy.” she whimpered. Black spots danced across her vision. She saw something shiny in the stranger’s hand.    


“Fucking cunt. I’ll gut you like a-” Clarke wasn’t sure she heard it right, the pounding of footsteps, but she did see another body tackle the stranger to the ground. 

  
  


_“BELLAMY!”_ Bellamy’s head snapped up. He looked towards the alleyway beside the laundromat. Really? She hadn’t even gotten that far and she was already calling for him to come get her. He scoffed, smirking as he turned towards the alley. _“BELLAMY!”_ this time he froze. Clarke was screaming bloody murder. Like someone was….He rushed into the alley, it was dark, but he could see two solid shapes. One crumpled to the ground, another standing over the first, with a knife in its hand. “B...Bellamy.” the shape on the ground whimpered. Bellamy charged towards the knife wielder.    


“Fucking cunt. I’ll gut you like a-” He jumped the solid form, knocking him to the ground. He heard the knife fall out of his hand. Bellamy adjusted himself, sitting on the man’s chest, he wrapped his hands around his throat and pressed. The man struggled, but Bellamy had actual practice. He was good at this. He pushed down as hard as he could, all of his weight bared down on his forearms. The man gurgled and twitched until….nothing.    


Bellamy exhaled. Finally. And turned his attention to Clarke.    


 

Gentle, calloused hands cradled Clarke’s face. Her vision was blurry, it was really dark, but she knew it was Bellamy. She smiled, her head throbbing. “I...I’m-”   


“Shh.” Bellamy pulled her into his arms. He scooped her up, and carried her out of the alleyway. “Don’t _ever_ fucking run from me like that again.” his words are sharp, but somewhere beneath them, she feels like he cares. She buried her face in his shirt, feeling comforted, the pain and hurt she felt towards him earlier forgotten. She was grateful.    


“Thank you.” she whispered, barely aware that he had tossed her on the dirty mattress in the van. She blacked out. 

  
  


**_“Hey come here,” Lexa took Clarke’s hand, pulling her back from the front steps. They stood off to the side. Lexa leaned into Clarke, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “It’ll be okay. I love-” Clarke saw him walk up. She opened her mouth, tried to scream, but it was to late. It was always too late. And Finn was laughing-_ **   


 

Clarke bolted upright, only to grab her head and groan. Her temples pulsed and throbbed with pain, and as she felt her head, she noticed bandages wrapped around her. She opened her eyes, squinting in pain at the bright morning sun that entered the van windows….The van! She looked down to see she was lying on clean sheets, and had been covered by a clean blanket. She looked around, but Bellamy was nowhere to be found. She couldn’t remember what happened the night before. Bits and pieces came back, but she couldn’t remember everything.  Even the dream that had woken her was slowly slipping from her memory.    


She grimaced at the sound of the van door sliding open, Bellamy stood, fully dressed, cap and sunglasses on, two coffees in one hand and a take out bag hanging out of his mouth. He jumped up in the back of the van and slammed the door. Clarke groaned.    


“Good morning,” he said nonchalantly. He held out a coffee to Clarke. She looked from the cup to him and back at the cup again. “What?” he asked annoyed.    


“W-what happened?” she asked. Bellamy sighed, setting her coffee down beside her and sitting on the edge of the mattress. He took his hat and sunglasses off.    


“You tried to run last night. Got into some trouble. I saved your ass.” He said this all very quickly, as he dug around in the bag, pulling out two bagels and a couple little containers of cream cheese. “Now eat up. We won’t be stopping again for a while.” Clarke reached out, taking the bagel and packet of cream cheese from him. She opened the coffee and took a sip, grimacing.    


“No sugar?” she asked. Bellamy tossed a creamer packet at her.    


“Knock yourself out.” she stopped. It all came flooding back to her. She had run, after Bellamy had said those things to her, she’d been caught in an alley…...Her breathing began to quicken and became shallow, she dropped the bagel. Bellamy looked at her alarmed. “Hey!” he shouted, reaching out and touching her arm. “Hey! You’re okay. Look at me Clarke. Look.” He held her head, kept her gaze locked on his, she settled, much quicker than normal. “You good?” he asked before letting go.    


“I’m….I’m sorry for running.” she said in a small voice. Bellamy snorted.    


“Don’t be sorry. Just don’t do it again. I’m the only thing standing between you and some bad shit right now. Anything could happen to you. Be glad I came after your ass.” he bit his lip. _Fuck._ Couldn’t he say anything nice to this girl? He cleared his throat. “I don’t want you to die. So it’ll be easier to keep you alive if you stay close alright? Don’t run again.” Clarke nodded quietly. She picked her bagel back up.    


“Thank you. For washing the sheets.” Bellamy smiled at her, genuinely smiled, for the first time in a while.    


“No problem.” They ate the rest of their meal in silence. 

  
  


“So how much further do we have to go?” Clarke asked. She was reclining in the passenger seat, feet propped against the dashboard. She played with strands of her hair as she talked. “I mean….I’d like to take a shower and get a change of clothing.” She knew she stunk to high heaven, and even if Bellamy wouldn’t admit it, he could smell her too. She was grateful he kept quiet.    


“Actually we are only a couple towns away now. Thought we’d get a hotel room tonight. I’ll take you to the Goodwill and-”   


“Not Goodwill.” Clarke said quickly, sitting up in her seat. Bellamy raised an eyebrow. “N-not secondhand.”   


“Clarke. I can’t exactly walk into a mall or a JC Penny’s. I’m a wanted criminal. Or did you forget that again?” she did actually. It was so hard for her to actually picture all the things Bellamy could have done. “What’s wrong with Goodwill?” he asked.    


“Germs…..They don’t wash the clothes before the put them out.” Bellamy pursed his lips, his nostrils flaring as he made a huffing noise. Clarke felt like such a burden. “I’m sorry.” she grumbled.    


“Would you stop fucking apologizing.” Bellamy snapped. He ran his fingers through his hair, she could tell he was annoyed, but he would listen to her. He didn’t like her panic attacks and she couldn’t blame him for that. “I can’t really afford much else at the moment...We only got about another day’s drive….Would you be okay wearing something of mine? At least for a little while. If the hotel has a guest laundry room, we’ll just wash your clothes there. But I’m exhausted and I don’t have money for brand new clothes and a hotel. So pick your poison.”    


“H-Hotel.” Clarke said. She watched Bellamy’s shoulders visibly drop in relief. His dark circles were worse and he looked like he hadn’t shaved in weeks.    


“Good.”

  
  


“Two doubles or a king?” the front desk clerk winked at Bellamy. Clarke felt herself blush. Of course she wouldn’t be the only person to think he was handsome. Bellamy leaned forward, his face level with the clerk’s chest. Clarke wanted to gag at the sight. How obvious could you get?   


“Which is cheaper?” he asked, in a low, seductive voice. Clarke felt it in the pit of her stomach, and she knew the clerk did too when her breath hitched.    


“D-doubles.” she said. Bellamy stood straight up, flashing that beautiful grin at the girl. If only she knew who she was talking too. What would she do then?   


“Doubles it is then. You ready?” he asked, turning to Clarke. She nodded, taking the key card Bellamy handed to her.    


“I hope you and your girlfriend enjoy your stay.” Bellamy turned around, and winked at the clerk.    


“Thanks.”

  
  


The shower was amazing. Clarke felt relief flood her as all the dirt and grime fell from her body. She would be pure again. Whole again. Bellamy had crashed the second the door closed, flopping down on one of the beds, and not even bothering to take his shoes off. Clarke had inspected the room, went to the front desk and asked for cleaning supplies, and though the girl gave her a funny look, she got them. Clarke spent the first few hours meticulously cleaning the room, everywhere but where Bellamy lie. She didn’t want to disturb him. She was already enough of a burden.    


Clarke stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself and tip toed out of the bathroom. Bellamy still snored peacefully unaware of the naked girl. She grabbed one of his over sized shirts and a pair of basketball shorts, before heading back into the bathroom. She climbed into bed. Falling into a blissful sleep as soon as she hit the pillow.    


 

She woke up to eyes on her. Panic welled up in her chest. She didn’t recognize where she was. It was a dark room, not her dorm though, it felt too big to be that, but as her eyes adjust to the darkness, she feels someone staring at her. Clarke realized she had been lying on her stomach, with her legs tucked under her, ass propped in the air. It was a weird position, but comfortable to her. She had woken up like that many times before. But what she was feeling now, she’d nevr felt. Someone watching her, with hungry eyes.    


Bellamy sits on the edge of his bed. His hair is a mess, his clothes are wrinkled, but he sits like a statue, unmoving, eyes on her and lips parted. She can hear his shallow breathing.    


“What’s wrong?” she asked. Her voice is rough, filled with sleep. Bellamy doesn’t say a word. He stood, and left the room, shutting the door firmly behind him. Clarke shrugged her shoulders, stretched out, and fell back into a more fitful sleep. 

When she woke up again the sun was shining through the curtains. Clarke sat up, surveying the room, Bellamy was still gone, but her clothes were folded and sat at the edge of her bed. She blushed thinking about Bellamy picking up and folding her underwear. But shook the thought from her head as she tossed the covers off of her and climbed out of bed.    


Once she was dressed she stepped outside, wondering where Bellamy had run off too, only to see him just exiting a room across from you. The clerk who had checked you in closed the door behind him, a big smile on her face. Bellamy leaned down to whisper something in the girl’s ear. She laughed and blew him a kiss before turning to walk away. He smacked her ass, before turning towards Clarke and strutting over to her, freezing when he sees that she had watched his encounter with the clerk.    


“Hi.” he greeted awkwardly, running his fingers through his hair again and licking his lips. Clarke realized early on he did that when he felt awkward or uncomfortable.    


“Hello.” she replied. Bellamy’s eyes flicker to anything and everything but her, she wondered why he wouldn’t look at her, why he, a serial killer, would suddenly become shy and awkward. She wondered, but didn’t ask. “Are we leaving today?” she asked instead.    


“My sister text me last night….Said there’s a job in this town I could pick up if I wanted since it's on the way...So we’ll be staying a little longer.”    


“So….do you know when exactly I’ll be going home?” Bellamy scuffed his shoe on the ground shrugging his shoulders.    


“I don’t know….it’s only one job. Shouldn’t take me long. And….” he looked at the ground, hoping she didn’t see him blush, “I’m starting to like having the company. I haven’t had someone ride with me….in a long time.” Clarke rolled her eyes.    


“ _Yeah_ ,” her voice dripped with sarcasm, crossing her arms and looking behind Bellamy, to the room he just exited. “The company must be really good.”   


“What the fuck do you have going on that’s so important?” he snapped back. She didn’t know he had been talking about her company. And he was embarrassed she caught him with that girl. But he’d never tell her that.    


“Well school for one thing,” Clarke held up her fingers, “And second, if I know my mom and Marcus, there’s probably a manhunt for me right now.” Bellamy grabbed her by the elbow. Leading her out of the open and back into their private world.    


“Consider it an early break. And I’m not worried about that. I’ve been doing what I do for a long time. And I’ve still never been caught.” he slammed the door behind them, effectively ending the conversation. 

 

_ "Police are still searching for nineteen year old college student Clarke Griffin. Who, stopped at this gas station only five days ago for gas. The cashier who had been working when the store was almost robbed, said the assailant took her with him. Ms. Griffin's parents implore anyone with information of their daughter's where abouts to please contact crime stoppers. All tips are appreciated. Thank you. Back to you Jeff." _

__Finn shut the tv off and set the remote down. He drummed his fingers against the faux leather of his chair, chewing thoughtfully on his lip. Where was Clarke? He hoped she wasn't dead. No. She couldn't be dead. He needed her. And he would find her. And he....would have her forever.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to the wonderful Anon who gave me some awesome critisim which inspired me to write an even BETTER chapter! Thank you boo! 
> 
> Warnings: violence, drug usage, depression, psychological and physical abuse
> 
> This is a dark chapter. Please read the warnings and if anything triggers you please don't read

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the warnings.
> 
> Find me on tumblr: bronterising

Clarke was propped on her elbows, head in hands, feet locked together, as she watched Bellamy lay out his ‘tools’ on the opposite bed. He had lifted a floorboard in the van, to reveal a box, filled with tons of weapons, some she didn’t even recognize. The tv played commercials in the background, neither of them were paying attention. Bellamy touched the tools gently, almost affectionately. It was strange to her. He began putting them, one by one into a duffel bag. 

He had explained to her that sorting his tools was like pregame for him. Looking at them and thinking about what he'd use them for amped him up. It made her shudder.

“Keep the door locked. Don't answer it for anyone. I'll be back in a few hours,” Clarke rolled over onto her back, sighing.She counts the tiles in the ceiling, she hasn’t had her meds in days and she can feel the tide coming in, the anxieties slowly creeping up, ready to drag her down again.  “Clarke?” Bellamy came to her,he leaned over her face “Princess,” he said gently, “what's wrong?” She wrinkled her nose. 

“I'm not a princess,” she insisted. Bellamy chuckled.

“What's on your mind?”

“Its my meds,” she swallowed down the lump forming in her throat, “I've been off my medication for too long…..”

“For anxiety?” She nodded.

“And other things.” 

“Are they over the counter or?”

“Doctor scripts.”

“What happens when you go off them?” Clarke furrowed her brow, she doesn't know how to describe it. 

“It's not good,” she can see the wheels turning, as Bellamy tried to find a solution to Clarke's current problem. 

“I have a suggestion….but before I give it, I want to know what you want me to do.” Clarke was taken aback by Bellamy's sudden thoughtfulness. 

“I want you to stay,” she said honestly. 

“Clarke-” Bellamy warns.

“Please.”

“You know I can't.” 

“Why not.”

“Because.” He was getting irritated. She continued. 

“Because why?” 

“You know  _ why _ .” He growled. 

“I want to hear you say it.” 

“I have a job to do.”

“Killing innocent people isn't a job, it's murder.” 

“If I killed  _ innocent _ people I would have killed you in that gas station a week ago.” he hissed standing up. He walked away from her, dragging a hand down his face, the room was silent, his words hanging in the air. “I don't kill good people. My  _ family _ , doesn't kill good people.” He clarified, “We kill the scum of the earth. The evil fuckers that walk around free. Pedophiles, murderers, rapists, people like that. And you can say I'm a hypocrite, or whatever you want. But this is who I am. It's who I've always been. And I  _ like _ it.” He glared at her, daring her to say something. 

“So you’re like Batman.” she said after a while. He gave her a confused look, she sat up, turning to face him fully. “Like Batman. A Vigilante. You know, someone who takes the law into their own hands, cuz they think the law officials can’t or won’t do it.” Bellamy chewed on his tongue thoughtfully for a moment, before nodding. 

“Batman….I like that. Yeah. We’re like Batman…...So since your idea isn't possible, would you wanna try mine?” she shrugged. “You ever smoke weed before?” he asked her. Clarke shook her head. “figured,” he went into the bathroom, Clarke heard him rummage around and when he came back out he had a little ceramic bowl in his hand and a lighter. He sat on the edge of the bed beside her. “If you're okay with this and you want to try it we will. It might help you relax, it works different for everyone. But it’s been known to treat anxiety and depression…..We can’t just go out and get your medicine so, this would be the next best thing. 

“I want to.” Clarke said in a small voice. 

“We’re gonna do something called ‘shotgunning’. That's where I inhale the smoke and then blow it in your mouth, you inhale and hold, then release. Since it's your first time I don't want you to get too fucked up.” he raised the bowl in his hands, she didn’t like the way it smelled. It stunk. “If we do it my way I’ll be able to atleast kind of control the amount you take in. And since you’ve never done it before you won’t need much. Just a little hit to take the edge off and see how you like it. If I just let you straight up hit it you might go too hard and end up sitting in a corner too high to move.” she looked at him in horror. “It’s cool. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen to you, like it did to me my first time.” she nodded in understanding. “I’m only offering because I can’t have you running around here having a panic attack and drawing attention. You’re almost home free. Don’t want to ruin that now do we?” 

“I guess not.”

“Good. Give me your hand.” Clarke held out her hand and Bellamy took her thumb and furst finger making an ‘o’ shape. He intertwined her three other fingers with his own and made the ‘o’ shape with his fingers. “When I start to lean in, you do it too, and I’ll blow the smoke through my hands into your mouth. Inhale as much as you can. Hold it for like, thirty seconds I guess, and then exhale. I’ll go slow.” Clarke adjusted herself, sitting up on her knees. Bellamy brought the lit bowl to his lips and took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving Clarke. She watched him, fascinated as he made a squeaking, sneezing sort of sound and closed his lips, holding his breath. 

He leaned in and she pressed her fingers to her lips. 

His breath was cool as it hit her parted lips, she inhaled, eyes beginning to water, and almost choking, it sort of burned. Bellamy breathed slow and she expanded her stomach until she couldn’t take anymore. She pulled away, releasing their hands and held her breath. Bellamy stood, going to the mini fridge to grab a bottle of water just as she began coughing and sputtering. She felt like her throat was bleeding, it really hurt. Her ears felt like they needed to pop. But as she coughed, she felt the pain beginning to fade, like she was stepping outside of her body, she knew it was happening, but the pain was becoming distant. The waves of anxiety were pulling further and further back. Bellamy walked back over, handing her the bottle of water. She took it gratefully. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked her. Her eyes felt heavier, almost as though she were squinting at him. 

“Good. The waves are gone.” Bellamy looked at her for a moment, opened his mouth, then closed it again before turning to grab his duffel bag. 

“I’ll be back in a few hours. You’ll probably be sleeping. I’ll try not to wake you.” Clarke waved her hand at him as she fell back against the bed. She felt light, like she was floating. Her legs tangled and her body felt pain free. It was a nice feeling. 

Bellamy shut and locked the door behind him. 

 

Finn had been searching for Clarke since the news broke she was missing. He was angry. Someone else had gotten her first. And at a fucking gas station! Really?! But that wasn’t going to stop him. He would rescue his damsel and she would be grateful, loving even. Happy to share her life with him. He scoured every news report he could find, made a special website dedicated to finding her and sorted through tip after tip, focusing on only the most logical ones. 

And it led him here. To this shitty motel in the middle of Bumfuck,Egypt.. He had watched them for the last day, his damsel and her captor. He looked like a dick. He was the tall, athletic, frat boy type. Definitely a fuck boy. But he was bigger, and Finn was smart, if he couldn’t take him he would wait until he left. And when he saw him climb into that shitty van and drive away, he knew it was his chance. 

He stepped out of the bushes, knife in hand and duplicate keycard in the other. He smirked, thinking of how gullible the front desk clerk had been. She hadn’t even asked for his I.D. Too busy on her phone. You can’t get good service anywhere these days. He stalked up to the door and pressed his ear to it. He couldn’t hear her, but he knew she was in there. The smell of marijuana wafted through the door. He inhaled deeply. God was smiling on him today. That was sure. This would be way too easy. 

 

Clarke was flushing the toilet when she heard the door open. She rolled her eyes, hiking her pants up and buttoning them, before swinging the door open. “Did you forget…..some….thing….”The words died on her tongue when she saw him. 

He looked so different. He was pale, gaunt and had dark circles under his eyes, light stubble on his cheeks. His hair was even more shaggy and unkempt, a wild look in his eye as he held up the knife in his hand. He looked like he hadn’t changed his clothes in days. Finn. Collins. Had found her. She sucked in a sharp breath. 

“It’s all right.” he said, holding up his hands, talking to her in a calm voice, like she was a scared animal. “Everyone’s been looking for you. We’ve all been worried.”

“How did you-”

“Come on Clarke, you know me,” he rolled his eyes, stepping closer to her, she took a step back in reflex. “You know I’ll never let you go. You can run, you can hide. You can move three or four fucking states-leave the country even! And I will always find you. I’ll always be here.” he smiled at her, “And you know why?” he tapped the knife against his temple, “cuz I’m in here. I’ll always be in here.”Clarke felt a hard surface behind her.  _ Shit.  _ Finn grinned, stepping closer still and placing the knife against the base of her throat. “You’ll never be rid of me.” Something sharp poked Clarke in the side, she reached up, trying to hit him, but he blocked her hand with his arm. Her eyes widened as she saw the tip of the needle he’d had hidden in his sleeve. She grabbed at him, her legs suddenly felt like jello, he backed up and she fell forward, onto her knees. “Nightly Night.” the floor came rushing towards her, but darkness met her first.  

  
  


_ Clarke was standing at the beginning of a long pier. Ahead of her she someone. A woman, in a black dress, long brown hair flowing behind her.  _ Lexa.  _ She began to run. Calling out to her lost lover. The more she ran the further Lexa seemed to get- _

 

“Wake up.” Clarke groaned, someone was shaking her shoulder, making her brain bounce around inside of her head. It hurt to open her eyes, but when she finally did, and they adjusted she realized two things. 

One. She wasn’t in the motel room anymore. 

Two. She was chained to a mattress, Her arms hanging from the headboard. 

She looked over to see the face of her nightmares. Finn stood over her, he had been the one shaking her, Clarke tried to scream, only to feel a gag covering her mouth. Panic began to snake up her body, lighting her on fire with adrenaline. Finn walked around to the front of the bed. Towering over her like the boogeyman. 

“Now, I understand if you still don’t trust me….I’ve done some things that….You might not agree with.” Clarke snarled, her eyes narrowing. Finn ignored her. “But you’ll see soon enough, that it all came from a place of love. I mean look at you!” he shouted, pointing at her, “I saved you! That man! He would have killed you! Or left you to die! I would never! I found you! I saved you!” He came back around toward her, and sat next to her on the bed. He looked at her with a tenderness that made her want to puke, she was repulsed, disgusted and her heart ached. She couldn’t look at him without thinking about Lexa. What he had done to her. 

“Now I love you. And I hope you see….I hope you see what I’ve been trying to tell you all along. That you love me too.” he pulled the gag down off of her mouth. Clarke sighed in relief, her jaw ached. “Tell me. Tell me you love me.” she hawked a big loogie, and spit it at him. 

Rage flickered over his face, it passed quickly, before he stood, scratching the back of his head. “I  _ hate _ you. Fuck you.” she spat again. He tsked, shaking his head. 

“I was hoping we wouldn’t have to do this. But I can’t have you trying to run away.” He pulled a thick board from beneath the bed, and something else, that dangled from his arm, just out of Clarke’s sight. She glared at him, resilience conquering her fear. “You ever see the movie  _ Misery?” _ Clarke had. She hated it. But she didn’t answer him. “This kind woman saves her favorite author from a snowstorm and he’s ungrateful. So she punishes him. So he’ll see that she loves him. She just wants him to be happy with her and make things right.” They must have seen two  _ very _ different versions of that movie. “You know what she does when she finds out he snuck out? She  _ hobbled _ him.” And it was that moment, that Clarke realized just what he was intending to do. She squirmed, trying to get away, only then did she realize her feet were chained too. He sets the board between her ankles. “Don’t squirm or I’ll miss and it’ll be worse. Tears streamed down Clarke’s face, loud, broken sobs escaping her throat.” Finn lifted the sledgehammer over his shoulder with both hands. 

“Finn!  _ Please!” _ Clarke cried out for mercy. He shook his head, face unchanging. 

“You’ll learn to like it here. Or at the very least, you’ll learn to see things my way.”

He brought the hammer down.

  
  


Bellamy felt good. Blood splattered his shirt and his chin, his hands were covered in the dried substance. But he felt relief, a good kill was kinda like sex. It released the tension. He could focus all of his anger. All of his hate. All of his rage. That’s why he was so good at it. He could  _ focus _ and then disassociate quickly when it was over. 

But this time was different. He worried about Clarke. He’d called the hotel room a couple times, she didn’t answer, so he figured she fell asleep. But that didn’t sit right with him. It wasn’t as late as he’d expected, surely she’d still be up. He shook his head. He didn’t even know why he was worried, what did it matter, tomorrow he’d be leaving her at a bus station with a ticket and going to his own home. 

He did feel kind of bad for lying to her. But he didn’t know what else to do. If she knew that the real reason he took her was to use her, in case the cops caught him, she could freak. So he shouldn’t feel bad for wanting self preservation. But he did. 

And he couldn’t stop thinking about her life. About her anxiety, and how she, like him, had lost someone who meant the world to her. He shook his head, trying to get her out of his mind. She was nineteen and he was twenty five. Not to mention he kidnapped her! There was no way anything could ever come from that. Nothing good anyway. He was the bad guy. The bad guys never get the girl. 

He pulled up to the motel room and parked the van, slamming the door as he stepped out of it. But when he saw their room, he dropped his keys and ran inside. 

The door was standing open, and when he went in Clarke was gone. All of his things were there, everything was in order. She was just….. _ gone.  _ He cursed and ran a hand through his hair, jogging outside to pick up his keys and come back in.  _ Maybe she took off on her own.  _ He thought.  _ Saves me a trip to the bus station. _ He tried to feel some sort of relief, but it didn’t come. There was a feeling of dread in the room, and when he almost stepped on the syringe on the floor, he knew. He knew Clarke hadn’t gone of her own free will.  _ What the fuck happened? _ He fell back onto the edge of his bed, holding the syringe in his hands. There was a bit of liquid still inside. He watched it move as he tilted it back and forth in his hand. 

 

**Six Months Later:**

Clarke learned fast early on. Just submit and she wouldn't be punished. 

The hobbling wasn’t even the worst of the things Finn had done to her. He completely stripped her of her identity. Bit by bit. To the point that she no longer even spoke. Just limped around with her head down and her mouth shut. The abuse she faced was almost always psychological, only getting physical when she  _ really _ infuriated him. 

If she screamed or fought he drugged her. If she cried out he would hit her harder, if she didn’t do what she was told he’d cuss her up and down until he was blue in the face. Only to turn around and tell her how much he loved her, and how he just wanted her to be happy with him. She tried to be strong, to be brave at first, but he learned of her phobia and her anxieties, and he would often play on those to keep her in a submissive, and docile state of being. 

Finn had forced her to watch as slowly, little by little, news coverage and search parties dwindled. He told her her parents thought she was dead, that no one was looking for her, and eventually all the hope left her. She shut off, and became even more of a shell of herself.

The more docile she became, the more freedom she had. She was never allowed outside, but she could peak out the window. She was no longer chained to her bed at night, but he did lock her door. If he needed to leave she could wander about the house, but was locked up if he had guests. This was her life now, and her week as Bellamy Blake's hostage, faded into obscurity.

Clarke. Lexa. Bellamy. Finn. None of that was real anymore. She had completely dissociated from who she had been. She was beyond numb. She had become hollow. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: psychological and physical abuse, cursing, depression ,anxiety, violence, drug abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the warnings
> 
> Find me on tumblr: bronterising
> 
>  
> 
> this was the hardest chapter for me to write so far. I've been working on it all day. Please let me know what you all think. Thank you for the support and the kudos. I hope you enjoy it.

_ Suddenly it’s sunny. She’s on the pier again. And this time she recognizes it. It’s the last place that her mother and father had taken her before her father died. That last, truly good, memory she had of her childhood. She looks up to see a woman pushing a carriage, she’s wearing a black dress, and walking away from her.  _ Lexa.  _ It’s Lexa again. Clarke watches her, calls for her, but she just keeps walking, pushing the carriage  along. She runs after Lexa, trying to look around her and into the stroller, all the while calling her name. Finally Lexa hears her. She turns, smiles and waves. Clarke grins, her heart leaping with joy, she slowed to a jog, getting closer. Lexa reaches down to pick something up, out of the stroller. Clarke is only a few feet from her now, their eyes meeting, she slows to a walk, Lexa begins to lift whatever is in the carriage- _

 

Clarke screamed, water soaked her whole body. It’s cold, freezing cold. She looked up to see Finn throwing a bucket into the corner of her small room, a cigarette dangling from his mouth as he turns away. “Wake up. I won’t tell you again.”

Clarke’s life has become a shell.. Every day the same as the last. She was done. She just quit.  She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror the other day. She didn't look like Clarke Griffin. Not anymore. Finn made her dye her hair, twice within the last six months, the blonde roots were starting to come out again, but the rest of her hair was now a mousy brown color. She liked to think she looked like her mom, maybe. She can’t really remember what her mom looks like anymore either. Her eyes are sunk in and though she isn’t restricted food, she looks unhealthy, pale and frail. The waves never pull back anymore, she’s always drowning in anxiety. And no one is willing to throw her a lifeline. 

Finn continued to fake kindness, and when that didn’t work, he switched to brute force. For the first few weeks Clarke had fought, hard. Though he’d shattered the bones in her left ankle, she refused to give in to him, fighting him tooth and nail and getting beaten bloody. There had been days where she was completely blind and yet….he still apologized and said he  _ loved  _ her. 

He reminded her all the time. That she should be grateful. That he saved her from the evil in the world. He convinced her that the only place for her was with him. Her mom thought she was dead. She didn't even know what State she was in. If he threw her out the door with only the clothes on her back, even worse things could happen to her. But he loved her and he wouldn't do that. Not to her.

Slowly over time she gave up. She stopped fighting, stopped getting angry. Just stopped being a person all together. She kept her silence and obeyed without hesitation. It wasn't enough to save her from abuse if he was really feeling it. But over time the attacks had lessened. The only thing She wanted anymore was peace. And when she listened, she got it. 

 

 

Clarke walked out into the living room to see Finn putting on his jacket, the tv was on in the background, which meant  she was allowed to watch it while he was out. She didn't try to leave anymore. He would play games with her, make her think that he had messed up and she could escape, only to pop out just as she was almost free and beat her. He conditioned her to obedience and it worked.

“I’ve got some errands to run. You need to be in your room with the door shut by three.” Clarke slid past him like a ghost, flopping down in his ratty old lazy boy chair. He was used to her silence. He would take that over her smart ass mouth any day. “I love you and I’ll see you later…” she didn't  acknowledge him, face stony, she stared at the tv. 

Sometimes when she was alone…..She did allow herself to think of Bellamy. She analyzed their week together over and over again, and had come up with some theories. The first one, which was also fact, Bellamy was using her. Maybe she didn’t want to believe it, ,maybe she didn’t want to know. But she wasn’t stupid. He took her to be a human shield. If the cops had stopped them at any point in time, he could have used her as leverage to get away. She knew that was true, no matter what he’d said about his ‘family.’ Two, no matter how hard he denied it, he really had enjoyed her company, and she wasn’t just a hostage in the end. She knew she had become a friend, at the very least. And even if she was wrong about that, on some level, he cared enough to not only save her from a drunk homeless man, but to also wash the sheets when she couldn’t lay on them, offer her alternative medicine when she couldn’t get her meds, and buy her coffee and a bagel for breakfast. He could have let her starve or suffer through her panic attacks alone….But he didn’t. 

And she didn’t blame him for her current predicament. This was a long time coming. She’d known it for years. Finn would have found her and struck no matter where she was. She didn’t regret Bellamy coming into her life and shaking it up the way he did, if anything, going through that experience helped give her the strength to survive the one she was in. She believed meeting Bellamy really had been…. _ fate. _

_ Don’t get used to me.  _ Clarke smiled at the memory, tucking her legs up under herself, she leaned back in the chair. 

  
  


_ Lexa is there. Just a few feet away. Clarke runs to her, and this time she’s getting closer, Clarke’s heart pounds, maybe this time she’ll finally reach her. But as she gets closer Lexa morphs, she becomes bigger broader….Clarke slows down, realizing it was never Lexa in front of her. It’s Bellamy. Bellamy Blake. She calls out his name. He lifts his head. She smiles. She calls his name again, and this time he turns to her. He looks different. Not so tired, no dark circles under his eyes. He looks younger. Happier. He reaches out, extending his hand, it all feels so real. Clarke can smell the sea salt in the air, hear the waves crashing in the distance. The sun is warm on her skin. It’s real. Nothing hurts. She reaches out. Her fingers brush against Bellamy’s- _

 

Clarke jolted awake, not realizing she had fallen asleep in the chair. The front door had woken her, having been slammed shut as Finn returned home. She rubbed her eyes and stretched, trying to wake herself up when she heard a voice. A female voice. 

Clarke darted out of the chair she was in, looking around for some place to hide. If she tried to get to her room she'd have to walk right past them and Finn might get mad if she got caught. But there was nowhere to hide, so she sat back down, back straight, muscles tense and helplessness pooling in her stomach. He would not be happy. 

She heard them walking towards her, her eyes darted to the clock, it read 2:45, which meant he was early, because he had said three, and it wasn't three yet. So maybe-

Before Clarke could finish her thought Finn stumbled into the living room with a brunette girl on his arm. Clarke gripped the armrest of the lazy boy, digging her nails into the faux leather. She tried to look calm and normal, forcing a small smile onto her face. 

The girl saw her first, her own smile, dying on her lips as she took in the other girl, “Oh.” She said, catching Finns attention. He turned his head, his eyes sweeping over Clarke before his attention turned back to the girl. 

“That's my sister, _Lexa_.” He thought  giving her that fake name would hurt her. It didn't anymore. Clarke stood and cleared her throat. 

“H-hi,” her voice was hoarse, and thick from not being used. It startled her, she almost forgot what she sounded like sometimes. She held out her hand. The girl looked at it for a moment, before returning her smile and taking it. It was smaller than Clarke's but way warmer. 

“Hi,” she replied, Clarke could see the question in her eyes so she averted her gaze, afraid of what Finn would do if his date recognized her. “I'm Raven. Raven Reyes.” Clarke dropped her hand after a firm and quick shake. She stretched her arms above her head, faking a yawn. 

“I-It’s nice to meet you,” she was on autopilot, her voice monotone, no emotion in her face as she made her excuse to leave. “I'm not feeling well. Think I'll go take a nap.” She scurried around the two of them, keeping her head down. Once she was out of their line of sight she ran to her room, quickly shutting the door, she slid down in the corner, hoping and praying he did not come in. He didn't. So she crawled towards her bed after a few minutes of silence, flopping down onto it. The springs dug into her back and she could never get comfortable, but it was better than the floor. She curled up on her side, her mattress smelled and her blankets were worn and musty at this point, but she buried her face into them anyway, her arms wrapped around her legs. In fetal position, she wished and wished to go back in time and be born, again. She'd do so many things differently. If she had that second chance. 

 

He did come in. Later. Clarke had fallen asleep again. She slept a lot. Not much else to do when your entire life is restricted. He sat on the edge of her bed and watched her. The bruises and cuts on her face were healing, he felt awful for doing that to her. For doing all of it. But she had to learn. She had to learn to respect him. To love him, he was a  _ good  _ guy. He  _ saved  _ her. He deserved her love and gratitude and had felt rejected and hurt once again when she continued to refuse it to him. He reached out, gently touching her shoulder. She jerked, eyes snapping open, Finn moved his hand back, brushing his fingers over her hair. “Shh.” he cooed. “It’s just me.” she didn’t say anything, just looked at him with fear in her eyes. “You’re mad about Raven?” he always did that. Pretended she was jealous of the girls he brought home, maybe he hoped she was, maybe he hoped that by seeing him with someone else, something in her would change. But it never did. “If you loved me it’d be you, you know.” she turned her face back into the blankets, shifting back from him. He sighed, lowering his head, his hair hung over his face, shielding his eyes.. “ _ Everything _ I’ve done, I’ve done for you.” more silence.

“I know.” He barely heard her say it. But was surprised and pleased when he realized she did. 

  
  


Raven usually had a good gut instinct, and even if she didn’t want to listen to it, she knew something was off when Finn had taken her back to his place. The girl that had been in the living room, he’d said it was her sister, but she looked around, there was nothing she could see around her in that house that told her that was true.  They’d been on three dates, talked about so many different things, and he never mentioned the fact that he had a sister? And a very  _ ill  _ sister at that? It just didn’t sit right with her. 

She pulled out her phone and dialed his number. He answered after the fourth ring. 

“Hello?”

“Hey. I was wondering if I could come by tomorrow?” Raven asked, she chewed on her bottom lip as she drove, one hand to her ear, the other on the steering wheel.  She hoped he wasn't going to be suspicious. He wasn’t. 

“Yeah? Sure. Thought you were leaving town after today?”

“I’ve decided to extend my stay.”

  
  


Clarke was sitting on the corner of the mattress. She didn't look up or acknowledge Finn when he came in. 

“I have to lock you in here tomorrow.” She looked up at that. Peeking through the matted mess that was her hair. Finn knelt down beside the mattress, level with her. “Raven is coming back tomorrow. And the  _ only  _ reason I'm not angry with you for being out there, is because I came home early….But you have to be quiet in here tomorrow. Absolutely silent. Like now. She can't know you're still here. I'll let you out when she leaves.” she flinched when he reached to pat her cheek. He didn’t notice.

  
  


Raven stood on the doorstep of Finn’s house for what seemed like forever. She had knocked, heard a muffled ‘coming.’ and then nothing more. She almost accepted that maybe she imagined it, but just as she was about to call him and see if he had maybe gone out, the door swung open. “Hi,” he said breathlessly. He wore a loose fitting black t shirt with a Nike logo on it and white basketball shorts. He was barefoot and breathing heavy. His face was red and perspiration dotted his forehead, Raven gave him a tight smile, cocking her head to the side slightly. 

“Hey…..You busy?” she asked awkwardly. 

“Oh no. You’re cool. Come in.” Finn shrugged and stepped back, allowing Raven to move into the apartment. She looked around, but there didn’t seem to be any sign of the girl that had been there the day before. 

“Where’s your sister?” he looked at her confused for a second. 

“My what? Oh-She’s at the doctor’s. She had to refill her medications.”

“On a Saturday?”

“Her doctor works really flexible hours.” Raven nodded, but she had seen him stutter, he slipped up. And now she knew something was definitely up. Finn shoved his hands into his pockets. “Follow me. We can watch a movie and hang out. When did you say you were leaving town?” he asked, turning on his heel, he away from her and walked back down the hall towards the living room. Raven followed hesitantly. She was looking around for anything that would give her a clue about the girl from the day before. She didn’t know exactly why it bothered her so much when she saw her, there was something dead in her eyes. Like she’d completely given up on...everything. Maybe that was why Raven just could not let this go. 

She shrugged her jacket off and threw it over the arm of the couch before sitting down. Finn came back into the living room with a bowl of popcorn and a glass of what looked like red kool aide. Raven thanked him as he sat down next to her, turning his whole body towards her. 

“I’m glad you came over.” he said in a low voice. Raven smiled. 

“Me too.” 

“What movie do you wanna watch?” he asked. She shrugged. 

“Show me what you got.” Finn chuckled, and as he went to stand he knocked into Raven’s hand, spilling the juice all over himself. She stood, mouth open in shock as he white basketball shorts became stained with red kool aide. 

“I am so sorry!” she feigned embarrassment. Finn shook his head, waving her off and dismissing her apology. 

“Don’t worry about it.” he grabbed a blanket from the armchair and wiped himself off. “I’ll be right back. Pick out a movie.” Raven watched him, and waited until she heard another door shut, before moving from her spot on the couch, she moved to the doorway and poked her head out. There was a light on and shadows moving under the doorway to her left. So she turned right, throwing glances over her shoulder as she walled, making sure Finn wasn't following her. She dipped around the corner and down the hallway by the front door and came to a bathroom, and a second door that had a lock drilled to it. Locking the contents inside, from the outside. 

Slowly Raven walked toward the door, she pressed her ear up to it. She couldn't hear anything. She paused for a second, hand on the knob, listening for Finn. After a moment or two more of silence she slid the lock and opened the door. 

The stench hit her senses first. The room smelled absolutely disgusting. It smelled of piss and shit, vomit and sweat. It was filthy, dirty food wrappers and containers lie scattered on the floor. And tucked into the far right corner of the room was a dirty old mattress, a still body laid on top of it. Alarmed, Raven briskly walked over to the mattress, falling onto it, she startled the girl lying there, she rolled over with wide, fearful eyes. 

“L-Lexa?” She brushes the girl's hair away from her face. There were bruises, days old, scattered all down her cheeks, a thumbprint and fingerprint impressed was bruised on her chin. “Lexa are you okay?” She helped the girl sit up, placing a starting hand on her shoulder. “Lexa?” The girl did not respond. She only looked at Raven with an empty expression, as though her body was in the room, but her spirit was not. 

“What are you doing?” Raven yelped, Finn stood in the doorway, eyes going from Raven to the girl and back to Raven. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Finn shut the door, standing between Raven and her way out. He crossed his arms. “ _ What  _ are you doing?” 

“I-I was…I was just…” Fear filled her she couldn't think. 

“You're a nosy bitch….damn. I really liked you.” Raven packed up, only to corner herself. Finn lifted his arm, bringing his hand down palm up, he slapped Raven down. Clarke moved back against the wall, her legs to her chest, trying to calm the panic and fear that threatened to spill out from her heart to paralyze her. Raven hit the ground with a loud, resounding thud and Finn fell with her. He sat firmly on her chest, placing his hands over her mouth and nose. Clarke watched in horror. Raven kicked her feet, they scuffed against the hardwood floor making a screeching sound. Finn grunted, adjusting himself to put more pressure on her. Clarke could hear the girl’s screams against the palm of his hand. She slammed her hands over her ears and screamed, unable to watch him any longer

“Finn!  _ Stop!” _ He paused, looking over his shoulder, before refocusing on Raven, who was growing stiller by the second. “Stop Finn please! I love  _ you _ !” The change in him was almost immediate. He froze, lifting his hands, he slid off Raven, who lay, barely breathing and unconscious. He looked at Clarke with wide, disbelieving eyes. She sobbed brokenly. She couldn’t let him kill her. She didn’t want anymore blood on her hands. “I love you.” the dam she had built within her broke, and whatever was left of her pride and dignity flowed out of her. 

“Clarke….” Finn moved to her, cupping her face in his hands. He bent down and pressed his lips to her hard, ignoring the muffled sound of pain Clarke omitted. His lips felt rubbery and cold against hers. She ignored the uneasy churning of her stomach, and allowed him to continue. Only when he stuck his tongue out did she pull away. 

She looked him in the eyes, “Don’t kill her.” his eyes darted from hers to her lips and back again. He shook his head. 

“She knows too much Clarke.” He stroked Clarke’s face with the back of his hand. “What other choice do I have?” Clarke leaned forward, their noses almost brushing. 

“Let her live,” she sniffed, “Let her live  _ here.  _ She’ll learn to like it here….I did.” she hoped he would listen to her, he would stop and just let the other girl go. Clarke was desperate. She didn’t want anyone else to get hurt trying to protect her, or help her.   He sighed, brushing some hair out of her face. 

“If that’s what you want. But she’ll have to be chained to the mattress. Just like you were.” he smiled cruelly. "Let's hope she's smart and doesn't make things to difficult"

  
  


Raven had been in the apartment for two weeks, Clarke did everything she could to protect her. She distracted Finn, and snuck her food. She would unchain her and let her go to the bathroom or bring her water when she needed it. 

“Why are you helping me?” Raven had asked her on one such visit. She had thrown up all over herself, and Clarke was dabbing a cold wash rag on her face, cleaning her as best she could. 

“Just do what you’re told Raven...It’s a lot easier when you just submit.” she opened her mouth to argue but Clarke cut her off, “I’ve been here a long time. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s to be compliant, malleable, and obedient. Stay in your place and do as you’re told.” she shook her head, straining against the cuffs. She tried to look Clarke in the eyes, but Clarke kept her eyes downcast. 

“Someone will come,” she whispered, Clarke shook her head, “They will. People are still looking for you. They’ll look for me too.”

“No one’s coming.”

  
  


_ Your destination is on the left.  _ Bellamy slowed down, pulling into the driveway. There was a jet black and pick up truck parked next to him, and he thought it looked familiar. Just like his sister Raven’s. He pulled out his phone, flipping through the contacts and pressing on Raven’s name.

_ “Hey this is Raven, leave a message!”  _ It went straight to voicemail. He hadn’t heard from her in days and his curiosity spiked, as he got out of the car and confirmed from the dented fender, that and the license plate that said R3Y3S, that it was her car.  _ Why the hell would she be here?  _ He walked up the curb and opened the screen door. There was a doorbell, but he preferred the sound of a good solid knock, to the chimes of a bell. 

“Bellamy! Bro,” Finn opened the door and held out his hand, Bellamy returned his grin, going in for a half hug. Finn had been Bellamy’s connect for years, whatever Bellamy needed, he usually had. And it was the good shit. Finn closed the door behind him and clapped him on the back. “What can I do ya for?” he asked, leading Bellamy into the living room. Bellamy followed, noticing the sound of feet on the hardwood floor and a door shutting somewhere. 

“I need some product. Going on the road again for awhile…..Is my sister here?” There was a black leather jacket draped over a chair in the living room. It looked old and worn out and he knew almost immediately it was hers.. 

“Who?” Finn asked as he left the room. Bellamy picked the jacket up and brought it to his nose. Irish spring. Raven hated the girly smelling perfume scented stuff labeled for women. Irish spring was her favorite soap. It  _ was _ hers. 

“My sister,” his eyes scanned the room, looking for something to incapacitate Finn with if he needed to, “Raven Reyes. We were adopted by the same man. That’s her truck outside,” he unplugged the cord from the stereo, wrapping it around his hand and hiding it in his coat pocket. “And this is her jacket.” Finn came into the room, holding a small bag of out to Bellamy. 

“O-oh. Yeah we’ve been seeing each other….She’s in the bathroom right now. That’s quite a coincidence.” Finn’s laugh was shaky. Bellamy narrowed his eyes, the room growing awkwardly silent. Something wasn’t right. Bellamy was good at reading people and the vibes from this guy were off.  _ Liar.  _ Bellamy tried to control the flare of anger that rose within him at the thought of what this prick could have done to Raven. 

_“Scale?”_ Bellamy said, Finn shook his head, and turned towards a computer desk in the corner of the room. “You feelin’ okay?” Bellamy asked. He quietly stepped toward Finn, wrapping the cord around his hands. 

“Yeah. Just a little out of it at the moment. Let me make sure that’s two grams-” Bellamy was fast, he sprang forward, throwing his hands over Finn’s shoulders, he pulled the cord taut against his neck. Finn gasped, throwing himself back, but Bellamy was stronger. He was bigger, and Finn barely made him stumble. 

“What are you….” he rasped, fingers clawing at his neck so hard he was drawing his own blood. Bellamy held him there, letting the cord dig into Finn’s skin. He watched the hands on the clock. He didn’t take his eyes off the time until he felt Finn go limp, and slump forward. 

  
  


“Did you hear that?” Raven asked as Clarke brought the glass of water to her lips. Raven took it gratefully, filling her parched mouth and relishing in the coolness as it made its way into her belly. 

“Finn probably has a guest. We have to stay in here.” She brought the toast to Raven’s lips now. The girl grunted, her wrists hurt, the cuffs had rubbed them raw. 

“Are you serious? We should run!” Clarke shook her head, sitting back on the bed next to Raven now. 

“No….It’ll never work. And we’ll get beaten.” Clarke looked at her dirty feet and Raven felt sympathy wash over her. Clarke just looked so...Broken. 

“My God. He really fucked you up didn’t he?” she was astounded. Over the course of days the two of them had spent together, Clarke had told her the story. She told Raven about being kidnapped and driven from her home, only to be taken again by a man who was obsessed with her and killed her first love. She shared everything with Raven, it was like word vomit, and once she started talking to her, she couldn’t stop. Clarke had figured that neither of them would ever get out of there alive, so it really didn’t matter if she poured her heart out to this stranger. The old Clarke would never have done that. But that Clarke died six months ago. The only thing she kept to herself, the only thing she never told Raven. Was the identity of the man who had taken her at the gas station. She kept that to herself. 

“Look Raven….I’ve tried everything. I’ve  _ tried  _ to run. I’ve asked his friends to help me before, and sometimes  _ they _ are even worse than he is. There’s no way out.”

  
  


Bellamy tied Finn to the toilet in the bathroom before making his way through the house. He searched the rooms, looking everywhere for his sister. He didn’t know why she was there, or what had happened, but he didn’t think about finding her dead. He refused to think of that. He rounded the corner down the hall, coming to a second bathroom and a door with a sliding lock on the outside.  He took a deep breath, “Please let her be in here,” and kicked his foot through the door, making it fly off its hinges. Shrieks of surprise let him know there were people in the room, he stepped into it, cord in hand and flipped on the light. 

Raven was handcuffed to a bed, she looked pale and gaunt, her eyes sunken. As her eyes moved over to him, he watched relief flood her face, she jerked forward. 

“Bellamy!” Bellamy started to walk towards her, but froze when his eyes finally moved to the other person. His face paled and his heart began to pound. He was seeing a ghost. 

There was another girl. Sitting beside Raven, her hand on his adopted sister’s knee. She had dirty, mousy brown hair, that was obviously dyed. Her skin was sickly pale and she was very thin, her lips chapped and bruises and cuts covered her face. As blue eyes met brown, hers widened in recognition and Bellamy almost pissed himself. 

“Clarke?”

“B-Bellamy?” she said in equal shock. “What are you doing here?” he found the strength to walk again and knelt down in front of Raven. He placed a hand on the side of her face. Her skin was clammy and cold. She didn’t look too good either. 

“Bell.” Raven sobbed. He leaned forward, placing a quick kiss to her forehead. Clarke watched his tenderness numbly. There was a small part of her that wanted to cheer, wanted to shout, but the rest of her was crippled with anxiety.

“Where’s Finn?” Clarke asked. She could see Bellamy’s jaw twitch as he tried to uncuff the handcuffs with a bobby pin. He didn’t answer her question fast enough so she repeated it. “Where’s Finn.”

“You don’t need to worry about him Clarke. We’ll take care of him.” he turned his attention to Raven. “I saw your car in the driveway, and your coat in the living room. You know this guy is a dealer right?” Raven rolled her eyes. 

“I’m cuffed to a bed, with a stranger sitting next to me and you’re going to scold me for a tinder date?” her voice dripped with sarcasm. She nodded towards Clarke, hissing when he finally got her wrist free. “How do you know her?”

“Uh….” Bellamy trailed off. The room became quiet, something silent and unseen by Raven passed between Bellamy and Clarke. “I just do.” he finally said, freeing her other wrist. She threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly, Clarke looked away, embarrassed by the display of affection. 

“Where’s Finn?” she asked again, quietly. Bellamy pulled away from Raven. There was something different about Clarke. He didn’t know how long she’d been here, or what had happened….But it had to be bad, because when he looked at her, the light he’d seen before was gone. There was no good, or bad or pure or innocence about her. She was bland, unchanging. Her voice monotone. Her gaze far away.

“Let me get you two to the van. And I’ll take care of him.” Clarke felt her body spike with fear. As Bellamy went to stand up she grabbed his sleeve, gazing up at him with pleading eyes. 

“Just take her and go.” Bellamy looked at her confused. 

“What? Clarke-”

“Take Raven. And go. This is my home….Finn….He takes care of me. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly. A place to sleep….Just go and leave us here. Please.” Bellamy placed his hand over Clarke’s. She looked utterly lost, and distraught. Anger began to boil beneath his surface. That’s when it dawned on him, who this  _ Finn _ person was to her. 

“It’s him...The guy who stalked you? The guy who killed your girlfriend?” Clarke didn’t say anything, just gripped his sleeve tighter, tears welling in her eyes. 

“Take her and go. Finn’s gonna be really mad if he comes back to find you here….please. I’m trying to help.”   
  


“Clarke. You don’t have to stay here-”

“Where else am I gonna go Bellamy? I don’t even know where I _ am _ .” she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, “But I do know that Finn isn’t so bad sometimes. And I have nowhere else to go….No one to return to. No one missing me. Everyone gave up...So please.” she smiled, looking at Raven and then back at him. “Just go.”

“Clarke-”

“Please.” 

“I can’t just leave you here.  _ I won’t.”  _ Clarke began to speak again, but was cut off by a low moan emanating from the bathroom. Bellamy took the opportunity, and while Clarke was distracted placed the handcuffs on her. 

_“What have you done?!_ ” she roared. Bellamy bent down and picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder. She tried to kick him, but he wrapped his arm around the back of her knees, effectively blocking her blows. So she settled for shrieking and squirming. 

“Shut the fuck up!” Bellamy forgot how annoying she was. But this wasn’t the Clarke he had met all those months ago. This Clarke actually scared him. “I’m not leaving you here with him. I’m not doing it.” Bellamy swung himself left, not so accidently making Clarke smack her head against the wall. She fell limp. 

“Was that really necessary?” Raven said with disapproval. He shrugged. 

“What are the neighbors gonna think if they see me carrying a handcuffed girl out of here, kicking and screaming.” Raven hummed in agreement. 

“Where is Finn anyway?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Bellamy said stepping outside. Raven walked ahead of him to the van. She threw it open and watched him toss her into the back on the old mattress he kept. “Just help me load him in the back of your pickup.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: trauma, murder, violence, Stockholm Syndrome, depression, suicidal tendancies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the warnings
> 
> As always find me on tumblr: bronterising
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I'll be mainly posting on friday evenings, Saturdays and Sundays. Thank you for all the support. It's much appreciated.

Bellamy opened the sliding van door gently, Clarke was still there. He sighed, hopping up into the van and leaning over top of the unconcious girl. He studied her features, the gauntness in her cheeks, the dark shadows beneath her eyes, the cuts and fading bruises on her. Bruises and burn marks covered her body. His eyes scanned down her arms, there were old track marks, he didn’t want to think what that sick fuck had been injecting her with. He gently picked up her hand, turning it over in his, only to discover in horror, that she had bitten her nails down to nubs, all bleeding and scabbed over. She’d been put through the ringer. Guilt washed over him. Some of this was his fault. If he hadn’t have taken her with him, none of the last six months would have happened. At least, that was how he felt. And no one could convince him otherwise. This innocent girl lie broken and tainted because he was a selfish asshole. 

Carefully, as though she would break at any moment, he scooped her up into his arms and out of the van. The neighborhood was quiet, but Bellamy’s eyes still darted around the area, making sure no one watched him carry the girl into his home. 

 

_ The pier stretched off into a beautiful sea. _ _ A woman in a red dress walks a baby carriage. Clarke feels strong and healthy, she recognizes Lexa and calls after her, jogging to catch up. But Lexa doesn't hear her and she keeps walking.  Clarke runs after her. When she gets close, she stops. Lexa turns around.She reaches to hug her. But, as she does everything suddenly turns black. Clarke is scared, she cries out for Lexa. Lexa doesn’t come. She steps backwards off the edge of a cliff and rushes headfirst into a concrete sidewalk. _

 

Clarke sat up abruptly, a sense of disorientation overcoming her. Her eyebrows scrunched in confusion. She was in a living room, on a couch, a light blue blanket covering her lower body. The sun was shining brightly through the windows and on the sil, she could see framed pictures  and knick knacks scattered about. She swung her feet off the couch, planting them firmly on the hardwood floor, but when she tried to stand she wobbled, and fell right back onto the couch. She felt dizzy. 

“Take it easy. You’ve been asleep for three days,” Clarke’s head snapped up. Bellamy Blake stood in the doorway of the living room, leaning against it’s frame. A small smirk on his lips. Clarke’s eyes widened in surprise. 

“B...Bellamy?” he walked over to her, sitting down next to her on the couch. “You...You’re real.” he nodded. “W-what happened?” She moved back away from him wearily. “Where’s Finn?” 

“You don’t have to worry about him. You’re safe.” she scoffed. Bellamy could feel the air changing around her, becoming tense, she glared at him. 

“I told you to leave me.” tears fill her eyes, almost blinding her as they begin to flow, “ _ Why _ didn’t you leave me?”

“Because I couldn’t just leave you behind…..You’re a victim.” 

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are-”

“No I’m not!” Clarke startled him. Her face was full of pain and anger, She began to sob, “I’m not a princess. I’m not innocent. I’m not good. I’m just as bad as Finn. I’m the reason he killed Lexa! The reason he kidnapped that other girl! There’s so much blood…..so much blood on my hands.” as she said this she held her hands out in front of her, they looked clean but she knew, she knew she was dirty. “You told me once that you kill bad people….so kill me. I deserve it.” Sobs racked through her body, her face contorted as she cried out. Bellamy just sat there, unsure of what to say, or what to do. She just looked so….defeated. 

“I’m sorry,” Bellamy whispered after her sobs had started to quiet.

“What?” she asked. He looked up at her, her eyes were light blue, and he never noticed the little specks of green in them before. Her eyes reminded him of the ocean. 

“I never should have taken you from that gas station….I didn’t need to. I could have gotten out on my own. But I saw an opportunity. A get out of jail free card and I took it. I lied to you, I didn’t have to bring you to my family, I just said that so you wouldn’t try to run. And I’m sorry. I did this to you. I should have let you go home.” the room went quiet except for her sobs as he finished. 

“Is that the  _ only _ reason you made me come this far with you?” Clarke knew there was something else. She could tell in his demeanor, and the way he kept avoiding looking at her now.

“You remind me of a girl I used to love. Maybe that’s the other reason why I took you. When I saw you standing at that slushie machine, all quiet and shy...You took me back to the happiest time of my life. Gina was a good girl, like you, she knew about my life. She knew about my upbringing and my job. Why I do what I do. And she didn’t care. She embraced me and we made all these plans….I was gonna semi retire, settle down, have a family….” he trailed off, his eyes glazed over as he was brought back to those moments, back to his former lover, “A guy I killed had friends. And they wanted payback. They started stalking me and they found her….I’ll spare you the details. But I’ve been hell bent on finding the son of a bitch who ordered her death. I want to kill him with my bare hands. I  _ will.  _ I dove in head first, to my job. I’ve killed more people since her death than I ever did before, and I track every lead I get on the men that killed her….When I tried to rob that gas station, I had just got done tailing and killing the last man that physically killed her. It was the three year anniversary of her death, and I just wanted to get home. So I could be alone...Then I saw you,” she watched his lips twitch, trying to stop himself from smiling. “I just felt drawn to you. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Clarke.” 

“I appreciate….” Clarke swallowed, trying to find the right words to say. “I appreciate that you thought you were saving me. Really, I do. But where do I go from here? If you don’t let me go back I have nothing….My parents have forgotten me. I can’t go back to school….Where do I go from here?” she wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “My life wasn’t easy with Finn. But it’s familiar, and I need that cuz…..cuz I don’t have anything else. So….Please take us back home.” Bellamy sighed, running his fingers through his hair. His jaw twitched. 

_ “I can’t.”  _ he left it at that, standing up he left Clarke on the couch, floundering with her thoughts and trying to catch herself.

 

“Hey.” He looked over his shoulder as he left the living room, to see Raven walking towards him, her hands in her pockets. Her bruises were healing, her wrists bandaged. He was glad she was okay. He wouldn’t have forgiven himself if something had happened to her. “She alright?” Bellamy shrugged. 

“Something wrong? You okay?” she nodded. 

“I’m fine.” She stood toe to toe with her brother, looking up into his dark eyes. Bellamy bit his lip, looking away from Raven. “She’s gonna be okay Bell.”

“Is she? She scared the shit out of me Raven... _ me _ .” she placed a hand on her brother’s shoulder.

“She was in that situation for a long time….You didn’t see what he did to her….but she’s safe now. And we’ll send her home. Just like you should have  _ months  _ ago.” He narrowed his eyes at her. 

“She doesn’t want to go home Raven. She doesn’t trust me. And that’s my fault. I told her not to. She doesn’t want anything but to go back to that place….To that  _ room.  _ I can’t let her do that.” Raven smirked. 

“I didn’t know you had such a soft heart Bell.” he rolled his eyes. 

“Stop it Raven. This is serious.”

“I am serious. I don’t think you’re as dark as you want people to believe you are.”

“I  _ kill _ people for a living Raven. That’s pretty dark.” she shrugged and stepped around him. She walked towards the living room, pausing before she entered. 

“By the way Bell…..She told me all about the gas station. And when I asked her who took her, she flat out  refused to tell me. Not even when I pushed her to….Just thought you should know that. ” Bellamy’s lips parted slightly,he wanted to say something else to her, but she was already making her way towards Clarke. 

 

“Hey,” Clarke looked up to see Raven, the girl who had caused all this. If she hadn’t been nosy, if she hadn’t found Clarke, her world wouldn’t be upside down. She’d be home if it wasn’t for this girl. Raven stood at the edge of the couch. “How are you feeling?” 

“Fine...I’m fine,” Raven sat down on the arm of the couch. She could sense the inner turmoil Clarke was in, and wanted nothing more than to help this girl who had saved her life. “Why….” Raven almost didn’t hear Clarke’s question, the girl’s eyes were glazed, as though she were far away, thinking of other things.

“Why what?” 

“Why couldn’t you just leave well enough alone?” Raven’s expression became confused. Clarke was getting frustrated, why was no one understanding her. “If you hadn’t wandered the house...If you hadn’t opened the door to my room….” Clarke trailed off, she still couldn’t think straight. 

“Because you scared me the first time I saw you.” Clarke didn’t look at Raven, she didn’t make any sign of acknowledgment, whatsoever. “You looked….Less than human.” That’s what she had likened Clarke’s expression to, the first time they met. Like she was a mannequin or something, shaped like a human, but hollow on the inside. “Everything’s going to be okay now though, Clarke. I promise.” Raven moved down closer to Clarke and  pulled her into a tight hug. It took a moment, but ever so slowly, Clarke hugged her back. Raven just held her, she was grateful to Clarke for keeping her alive, and she knew Clarke probably hadn’t had just a good solid hug in a long time. Clarke, however, felt awkward. She didn’t know what else to do but wrap her own arms around Raven and rest her chin on the other girl’s shoulder. 

“You have to take me back.” she cleared her throat, it felt raw,probably from crying so hard. Raven shook her head. 

“Clarke. You don’t have to go back. You’re okay-”

“No.” she pulled away from the other girl and brought her knees to her chest, curling in on herself. Raven could sense her shutting down. “No. Please. He’ll be mad at me if I-” 

“Clarke.” Raven’s voice was firm. She looked into the other girl’s eyes. She didn’t know why Raven was looking at her like that. Looking at her with….pity. “Finn’s locked up in a room on the other side of this house. He can’t hurt you. He can’t even move.” Bellamy had made sure of that. But Raven didn’t say this. “Don’t you get it? It’s over. You never have to worry about him again.” Raven sat patiently, allowing Clarke to process her words. She hoped that by telling Clarke this, the girl would be relieved, but instead, Clarke only felt even more lost. Finn was all she knew anymore. What was she now? Where would she go? “And by the way Clarke. You’re in Dallas, Texas.” Raven smiled at the surprised look on Clarke’s face. “Now you know where you are.” 

Raven sat with Clarke for a long time, she tried to calm her, to dispel her fears, but nothing seemed to shake her. Clarke begged to return to Finn. To return to the apartment. “You don’t understand Raven...I’m not the person I used to be. I can’t just go back to Ohio and pretend like everything is fine and nothing happened. I wouldn’t even know where to begin picking up the pieces of what used to be my life.” Raven ran her hand over Clarke’s back soothingly. 

“Maybe you’re not supposed to go back to your old life. Maybe this is a chance at a new beginning. All I’m saying is  _ you’re free _ . Clarke. Whether or not you choose to go back to your old life is up to you.”

  
  


Bellamy unlocked the basement door, it was dark and a musty smell hit his nose as he descended, he flipped on the light switch as he got to the bottom step, Finn was cuffed to a pipe, his head on his chest, gag stuffed firmly in his mouth. The other man looked up when he saw Bellamy step out of the shadows. 

“What’s the matter?” Bellamy taunted. “You can dish it out but can’t take it?” He punched Finn, his fist connecting with the other man’s cheek, Finn groaned in pain, slumping further. Bellamy yanked the gag out of Finn’s mouth, only to be met with hysterical laughter. 

“Haha! Is that all you got? You punch like a b-” Bellamy hit him again, more laughter. Finn spit blood from his mouth. “Whew, that’s a rush.” 

“What did you do to her?” Finn only smiled, Bellamy hit him again, “What did you do!” he screamed, he grabbed a fistfull of Finn’s shirt, yanking him forward. Bellamy’s anger grew, Finn wasn’t afraid of him. He met Bellamy’s gaze head on. 

“I only took….What was always mine.” he spat possessively. Bellamy slugged him again. 

  
  


Raven was in the kitchen. She was sitting on the counter, legs dangling,drinking a glass of water. Bellamy went to the fridge and grabbed a beer, he sat down exhausted, cracking it open. 

“Octavia called.” Raven said nonchalantly. Bellamy only sipped his beer, “She likes college. Asked how Indra and the rest of us were doing.” Bellamy sighed deeply. Octavia was his younger sister, biologically. When their mother was murdered, Indra and her husband had adopted the two of them. It was them, who taught Bellamy the life he and Raven now lived. Octavia had managed to get away, to go to school and make something of herself. He was proud of her. Really proud. 

“You tell her we’re all good?” Raven nodded. 

“But she worries. You know, she doesn’t want us doing…. _ the job _ ,” Raven used air quotes. “But someone has to do it. Isn’t that what Indra always says?” Bellamy nodded. Indra had helped him hunt down his mother’s killer years ago, that man had been his first kill, and he’d been working with his adopted mother ever since. Taking out the evil in the world, one prick at a time. Raven felt the same way he did and they were a great team, he only wished she could live a different life. She was smart as hell, she could be or do anything. This was not a life he had wanted for her. 

_ ‘Somebody’s gotta make sure you don’t screw up.’  _ She always said that, trying to cheer him up, but it never worked. He would always feel bad, knowing his sister’s potential for great things wasn’t being fully realized. 

“What are we gonna do about Clarke?” she wondered aloud. Bellamy leaned forward, elbows on knees, rubbing his temples. “She’s really messed up. She thinks this is an elaborate game Finn set up to try and test her loyalty to him. She wants to go back to the apartment. She wants us to let them go back.”

“It’s Stockholm Syndrome.” Bellamy said. “Almost textbook. She’s bonded with her captor for survival….That’s why she’s fighting us.”

“But you took her too. Why doesn’t she have that with you?”

“It takes time. I don’t think we were together long enough. And I wasn’t nearly as cruel as Finn was. She must have bonded with him to keep the abuse at bay.” 

“So why don’t I have it?” 

“Everyone’s different. And you weren’t there as long as she was. You said she’d been there for six months?” Raven nodded, “That’s 182 days of consistent psychological and physical abuse. That’s a long time Raven.” She sighed, fingering the glass in her hands. 

“So what do we do? We can’t just let them go. She saved me from him Bell. If she hadn’t yelled for him to stop….” Bellamy stood, there was a quiver in Raven’s voice. He walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“We’re going to do what we would do to any other scumbag. We’re going to kill him….And we’ll talk to Clarke. She can stay here as long as she wants. I’m sure Indra won’t mind.”

  
  


“Clarke,” Bellamy gently shook the girl’s shoulder. It was dark, the living room illuminated by the moonlight. Clarke’s eyes opened slowly, she started for a moment, still not used to her surroundings. “It’s okay,” Bellamy soothed. She sat up, rubbing her eyes and yawning. 

“What….What’s going on?” she asked. “Are you taking us home?” Bellamy sat down beside her. He didn’t touch her, but he wished he could. It was like that man had extracted everything that made her, her, and she was only a shell of her former self. It pissed Bellamy off to no end. She was a good kid, and didn’t deserve the shit hands she’d been dealt in life. 

“No.” he watched her face fall. “I want to show you something. Will you let me?” He stood again, and this time he did reach out, offering her his hand. She hesitated, but took it after a moment. He helped her to her feet and slowly pulled her out of the living room and down the hallway. 

“Where are we going?” she asked. Bellamy was a killer, maybe he was going to finally just kill her. She would be okay with that. It wasn’t like she would be missed. He stopped at a cellar door. 

“Come on.” he opened the door,and flicked on the light. She followed him as he descended.  

“Are you going to kill me?” Clarke asked. 

“What did I tell you before?” Bellamy snapped, annoyance in his voice. Clarke tried to think. She couldn’t remember. “I won’t hurt you. I just need you to come with me.” He helped her down the last step and pulled her into the room.

She saw him immediately, cuffed to a pipe, sitting in a chair. His face was swollen and bruised. He looked bad. But he smiled at her, grotesquely, when their eyes met. Clarke shivered in fear. 

“It’s okay.” Raven stepped out of the shadows. She came to Clarke, placing a hand on her shoulder, the other girl only stiffened more, fear and anxiety began to churn in her stomach. A million thoughts rushing through her mind. 

“What have you done?” Clarke’s voice was small. 

“I told you. What I do for a living.” Bellamy pointed at Raven, “well Raven is my sister, and she does it too. It’s kind of like….a family business,” he had said it for lack of a better word, but nothing could have been truer, “We kill the bad guys, so good people, people like you, can live happy lives.” Clarke was confused, she didn’t know where he was going with this. Until he pulled out the knife. “This is who I am. This is who  _ we _ are.”

“Bellamy….please.” Raven walked over to Finn, pulling off his gag. 

“Clarke please. You know I love you. Everything I did was for you.” Finn’s voice was condescending and dripping with manipulation. Raven looked to see Clarke had tears in her eyes. 

“Clarke,” Raven stepped in front of her, blocking Finn from her line of sight. “What are you doing,” she didn’t look at Clarke with pity, or charity. She was looking at her like she was a friend. “This man.  _ Murdered  _ your girlfriend. He stalked you. He traumatized you.” She pointed to Clarke’s ankle, “You still can’t walk right because he took a sledgehammer to you. Right? You told me that.” Finn started to speak.

“Shut up.” Bellamy growled. Raven paid no mind. She placed her hands on Clarke’s shoulders. 

“You don’t have to be afraid anymore. You can stay here, go back to Ohio, do whatever you want. But don’t give him anymore power over you. You are free.” Clarke stared at Raven for a moment. She had said Clarke could stay. Clarke had a place to stay. 

“But I...I don’t-”

“You don’t have to worry about anything. We will keep you safe.” Clarke’s eyes flickered to Bellamy. 

"What are you going to do?" the question was directed at Bellamy. He looked at her again, sighing. 

“Sometimes…...people can’t help what they are….Sometimes people are just not all there and they kill because they have to. And then there are men who are monsters and they kill because they want to, because it feels good.” He fingered his knife, playing with it absently. “Finn Collins, just happens to be the latter of those two things.”

“What are you going to do?” Clarke asked him again. Finn had fallen silent, watching the exchange intently. His fate was in her hands, she wouldn’t let him die. She loved him too. She said so.

"I'm going to kill him." Bellamy said softly. “”Slowly.” he added after a beat. Clarke nodded, taking a deep breath.

"I want to." she whispered. Bellamy and Raven’s eyes widened, they looked at her with trepidation.

"What?" The determination and blatant hatred faded from Bellamy’s face, he spoke as though he hadn’t heard her correctly. 

"I want to kill him." Clarke walked forward, holding her hand out to Bellamy for his knife. 

“Clarke-” Raven started.

"Okay." Bellamy cut her off before she could finish, sliding the thick hilt of the blade into Clarke’s palm. They followed Clarke as she walked over to where Finn was tied up. He stared at her in disbelief. He held up his hand when Raven opened her mouth. “This is her kill if she wants it. It’s her revenge.”

“Clarke….” her name fell off Finn’s lips in shock. She looked at him with disgust. Rage and anger began to consume her, six months worth of pent up hostility. She felt like an animal that had been caged and abused. She was finally free, and ready to bite the hand that fed her. 

She looked back at Bellamy. He was watching her closely, arms folded, ready to step in if she needed him. “Show me what to do.” His lips parted, and his eyes grew wide, but he walked to her, his eyes dark and dangerous. He stood behind her, placing his hand over hers, as he guided it towards Finn’s stomach. 

“Clarke,” Finn’s voice was pleading. “Clarke you said you loved me.” she looked him in the eye. Fear long gone, something else had taken over her, a ghost, a demon, whatever it was, she felt alive again for the first time in a _ long  _ time. 

“I lied.” She let Bellamy’s hand guide hers, as she plunged the knife deep into Finn’s stomach. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: violence, mentions of sexual abuse, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of child abuse, the dark web, ptsd, sexual assault

Clarke sat on the floor of the shower and watched the drain. She watched as Finn’s blood washed away, circling it before finally disappearing. She sat there, letting the water beat her back, and warm her body. 

She couldn’t believe she had killed him. And with such ease, like it really was the easiest thing in the world. 

_ “Easy does it.”  _ Bellamy had whispered in her ear. She had followed his instruction, cutting and slashing at him. She had wanted him to suffer, and was oddly disappointed that it didn’t last as long as she hoped. Once he was dead, the beast that took over her was gone, and she looked at her handiwork with a dissociated feeling. The silence had stretched, and it was Raven, who eventually took the knife from her hands, and led her back up the stairs. 

There was a muffled knock on the door, “Clarke,” it was Raven, “You okay in there?” her voice was filled with concern. 

“Yes.” it was quiet again. Clarke looked back at the drain, there was no more blood, no more splotches of pink mingling with the clear water. She was clean. She was whole again. 

She wiped the mirror, when she stepped out of the shower and looked at her naked body, for the first time in what felt like years. There were bruises and sores, cuts and scrapes all over her. She looked grotesque under the harsh bathroom lighting as she turned this way and that. These wounds would heal, she wondered if the ones left on her mind ever would. 

When she finally came out of the bathroom, hair pulled back, wearing some of Raven’s clothes, the dark haired girl met her in the hallway. 

“Where’s Bellamy?” she asked. Raven took the pile of dirty clothes and towels out of Clarke’s hands. 

“He’s taking the trash out. Come with me. I’ll show you to your room,” Clarke couldn’t help but wonder if ‘taking the trash out.’ meant he was getting rid of Finn’s body. She decided not to ask. 

Raven led her down the hall to a small bedroom, that looked like it had been saved for guests. Clarke stepped inside, feeling all of her old anxieties begin to creep back up on her. She didn’t know who had been in there last, if the sheets had been changed, when they had last been washed. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

“No one’s ever slept in here….At least not that I know of, so you should be fine. You know where the bathroom is, and if you need anything else just let me know.” Clarke tried to smile at Raven, but she faltered. “I know. And you’re welcome,” she said before leaving Clarke alone in the room. 

The room itself was sparse, there was a four poster bed, covered in a gold embroidered comforter, with pillows scattered atop of it. A white dresser beside the bed, with a lamp and alarm clock, a desk with a chair and a closet. Clarke walked over to the bed, relishing in how soft the comforter was, she climbed in, caccooning herself under the covers. The clock read 3:45 am. She couldn’t give a name to what she was feeling, but she fell asleep quickly, and peacefully. 

  
  


Bellamy closed the front door quietly behind himself. It was late, but when he saw dim light from the living room he knew Raven was awake. He followed the light, discerning the voices on the tv as he went. 

_ “If anyone has knowledge of my daughter’s whereabouts please, please contact the police. And Clarke, honey, if you’re watching this, I love you. We love you. And we just want you home.”  _

Clarke’s mother looked distraught, she hung onto a man, Bellamy suspected it was Clarke’s step father, as she addressed the press. He came to a stop next to the couch, folding his arms. Raven looked up to him and back to the television.

“She’s sleeping.” Raven said finally. Penetrating the silence. “Why did you let her do that?” she asked, her eyes back on him. Bellamy feigned confusion. 

“What do you mean?”

“You let her kill him. Why did you do that?”

“She wanted to Raven-”

“Cut the shit Bellamy. That wasn’t the plan. That wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You were supposed to do it-”

He threw his hands in the air. “It was her revenge. She had every right to take it-”

“She’s  _ traumatized _ Bellamy. And what if you fucked her up even more?”

“Is that even possible? Seems like she’s sleeping just fine to me.” Raven got out of her seat. She stood before Bellamy, eyes blazing. 

“I care about her Bellamy. What if she gets worse. What if she turns on herself?” Bellamy pulled his sister into a hug. “She saved my life Bell.” Raven mumbled against the collar of his shirt. “She  _ saved _ me.”

“I know. I know. And we’re helping her.”

“By letting her kill her abuser?”

“You don’t know if it’s going to make her worse Ray. We’ll play it by ear and take it one day at a time. It’s gonna be okay.” Bellamy held his sister, and looked at the mother and father on the tv. He would send Clarke home. He would send her home and, everything would be okay for her after that. 

  
  


Clarke woke up to the sound of knocking on her door. She rolled over onto her back, still warm and fuzzy, somewhere between sleep and reality. “Clarke.” it was Bellamy. She shuffled further down into the warmth of her blankets. He knocked again. “Clarke. Can I come in?” She sighed, sitting up and looking at the clock, four o’ clock in the afternoon. 

She yawned, stretching her arms above her head, “Come in.” she said mid yawn. He opened the door and poked his head in. Clarke could only imagine what she looked like to him, but his face stayed blank of expression. “What’s wrong?” she asked. 

“You need to get up. You’ve been sleeping all day. We need to talk to you.” Clarke felt her stomach twist in disappointment. She wondered if she’d offended them, if they were going to kick her out. Bellamy must have seen the look on her face because he added, “You’re not in trouble Clarke. We just want to talk to you.” before closing the door.    
  


Raven was sitting at the kitchen table, a fat book lay open in front of her, she was writing notes in a notebook that sat half on top of the book she was reading. Bellamy stood by the window, coffee cup in hand, looking out into the back yard. Clarke liked the way they looked, she tried to commit it to memory, save it, so she could draw it later. Raven noticed her first. 

“Good morning.” she chuckled, the sound broke the tension that Clarke was feeling. Raven made her feel at ease as she motioned for Clarke to sit across from her. “I’m guessing you slept well.” Clarke nodded. 

“Honestly, it was great.” 

“Well. We’ve got some news for you,” Raven looked over to Bellamy, he hadn’t moved or made any notion that he was even listening to the girls’ conversation. 

“Your mom’s still looking for you Clarke.” Clarke looked at Raven in shock. Raven only nodded, confirming what Bellamy had just said. 

“It’s true. We can send you home.” Clarke sat in stunned silence, letting it all sink in. Finn had told her that everyone had given up on her, no one was looking for her anymore. She felt a lump growing in her throat, eyes filling with hot tears. Raven reached out to touch Clarke’s hand. Clarke flinched, backing away. “Clarke?” Raven’s voice was filled with worry. 

“What about Finn?” she asked finally. Bellamy pushed away from the window, he came to stand by Raven. “I killed him.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Bellamy was firm. Matter of fact in his tone. Clarke looked at her hands, she could see the blood, Finn’s blood on her hands. She chewed her lip nervously. 

“I killed someone Bellamy. I can’t just turn around and act like none of it ever happened.” 

“Yes you can. Consider it done and over with.”

“But-”

“ _ Clarke.” _ Bellamy’s voice carried a warning. “Let it go.” The room fell silent. Bellamy glared at Clarke, she tired to glare back, but couldn’t not for as long as he did. She looked back down at her hands, slumping in her seat. Raven turned her head to Bellamy. 

“Give us a minute Bell. Let me talk to her.” He rolled his eyes, pushed himself off the table and left the room. Raven smiled sympathetically at Clarke. “Don’t worry about him. He’s always been a sour puss.” 

“I can’t go back.” Clarke said quietly. She couldn’t. There was no way she’d be able to go home and just pick up where things left off. She was too far gone for that. She’d  _ killed _ somebody. That still surprised her, even though she remembered every moment. 

“Clarke….” Raven shook her head, trailing off. She wasn't going to force the poor girl out. If she wanted to stay, she could stay. “Bellamy means well. He really does.” Clarke didn’t look up, she brought her thumb to her mouth and began to chew on it absently. “We were thrust into this life. We didn’t get to choose. That’s the only reason he’s frustrated. You have a choice, you can go home and live your life. You can  _ have _ an actual life. We can’t. And we’re fine with that.” she leaned forward across the table, “But this isn’t a life we would ever want someone to choose. And I wish someone would have asked me what I wanted...Now, I hope you decide to go home. Go home and tell your mom you love her. Hug her tight and never let her go….. But if you don’t, there is a place for you here. You can stay as long as you need.” Raven smiled at Clarke, she was kind and understanding. She was patient, Clarke appreciated that. 

“I don’t….I don’t think I can go back.” Clarke repeated herself. “I can’t just go back and act like none of this ever happened. I’m not the same. I don’t  _ feel _ the same.” Raven sat back, she didn't look angry or pissed off. She shrugged her shoulders and picked up her pen.

“That’s fine Clarke. Go at your own pace. No one’s going to rush you out of here. Take all the time you need.”

  
  


Everyday got easier. Bellamy and Raven got comfortable with their new roomie, they appreciated that she kept the house clean, but acknowledged that the reason she cleaned like she did was because of her phobia. She kept the house spotless, washing and vacuuming and wiping down every surface she could except their rooms. They had asked Clarke not to go there, and she respected their wishes. At first Clarke spent much of her time holed up in her room, pacing back and forth, replaying the murder over and over in her mind. She didn’t join Bellamy and Raven for meals, and they didn’t say anything, allowing her take take her time and heal in her own way. 

And Clarke learned more about them. Bellamy was the only one who did the ‘family business’ full time. Raven worked part time at a mechanic shop, she idolized her boss, Sinclair. He taught her everything she knew. Raven did most of the research and found the jobs for Bellamy to then go out and do. They had a specific formula for the jobs they picked out, and it usually involved someone who was let out of prison or had escaped. They really did just go after the bad guys. Bellamy didn’t come home often as a result, he usually only stopped in to pick up information about a new job and then he was gone again. Still hell bent on revenge for the death of his former girlfriend Gina. Raven advised Clarke not to ask about her, Bellamy didn’t like talking about it. They had a younger sister, Octavia, who was going to college, she wanted to be a lawyer. And their adopted mother Indra was in prison. She’d been caught by the police during a job and refused to roll on her kids. She called once a week, and talked with Raven, Bellamy too, if he was home. 

She still had panic attacks, and anxiety attacks, she made sure the house was clean, they didn’t care, it was less work for them to do. She still didn’t watch the news, but Bellamy and Raven made sure to remind her that if she wasn’t comfortable she could go home. They made sure that she knew she wasn’t a prisoner. Her mom and Marcus still made pleas for her return, she could hear it on the tv from the kitchen, whenever she washed dishes. She missed them. She missed them a lot, but she was dead. At least the part of her that they had known. She could feel it. She was growing. Changing. If she showed up now, she’d be a stranger.    
  


 

Clarke was curled up in bed, her sketchbook in her lap. Raven had bought it for her after a conversation about what they wanted to be as kids, when they grew up. Clarke had confided in her about wanting to be an artist and inspired, Raven bought it for her when she went out for groceries. She was currently drawing the scene she’d stumbled on that first morning after she killed Finn. Bellamy, standing by the window, his hair unkempt, curls flying every which way, coffee cup in hand. Raven, sitting in her chair, studying. It was coming along, and she hoped to give it to them as a thank you for letting her stay. She was drawing the curve of Raven’s spine when she was startled by a knock on the door.

“Hey? You in there?” It’s Bellamy. They didn’t really talk to each other. Clarke spent the time outside of her room with Raven. Raven made her feel safe and she didn’t judge Clarke. No question was stupid with Raven. Bellamy intimidated her. And why wouldn’t he? He  _ had  _ taken her hostage at one point. Clarke slammed her sketchbook shut and sat up straighter as the door opened and Bellamy poked his head around the doorframe. 

“Come in.” he did, shutting the door behind him. He walked over to the desk and took the chair there, sitting down on it backwards and placing his arms over the back of it. The chair looked too small for his large frame. “A-are there dishes or something?” Clarke asked. Bellamy shook his head. 

“No, I just wanted to see how you were.” Clarke instantly was suspicious, she felt her guard slowly going up. 

“I-I’m okay.” she replied firmly. 

“That’s good….You and Raven are going to be here alone for a while. I got a couple jobs and I was wondering if maybe you could help Raven with research maybe?” he looked shy, like a little kid asking for a cookie. Clarke raised her eyebrow. 

“Are you suggesting I help you commit murder?”

“No. You’re good. You’re not like us. Just help her with the research.”

“That’s still helping.”

“Would you just do it! Please?” he snapped at her. He hated when she teased him, he didn’t know why it made him feel so awkward. It just did. The smile faded from Clarke’s face, her body locked up and she began to wheeze as her mind was thrown back to her time with Finn. 

_ Her bedroom and Bellamy faded away, replaced by the grey, depressing walls of that apartment. Finn towered over her, lit cigarette in hand, he brought it to the flesh of her arm. She screamed.  _

_ “Clarke.” he started shaking her, violently, her head rolled back and forth. “Clarke.”  _

Bellamy didn’t know what else to do. He forgot how she reacted when someone yelled. Raven said she probably had PTSD, and that flashbacks can sometimes happen because of it. He hadn’t been around when Clarke had a flashback before, raven usually took care of her and then told him about it later. He jumped up off his chair and ran to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. He shook her gently, calling her name. Her eyes were glazed, she screamed and began clawing at him, catching him over the eye and scratching his cheek. He felt blood trickle down his face, but he didn’t let up. Unsure of what else to do he wrapped his arms around her. She pounded her fists against him. 

“Come back Clarke,” he whispered. “Come back.” She wailed and screamed into him, biting his shoulder and scratching his arms. He didn’t move, he stroked her hair and rocked with her, trying to calm her, trying to help her. 

This was the closest they had ever been. She felt warm and soft in his arms. It took her a few minutes, but slowly she began to come back, her blows became less and less. Her cries became whimpers and her arms fell limp to her sides, forehead pressed to Bellamy’s shoulder. He blushed awkwardly. Her breathing was heavy. 

“You alright?” he asked, letting her go after a minute. She sat back, face red, eyes puffy. 

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You’ve been through a lot.” she took a shaky breath.

“I’ll say.”

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.” Bellamy got up off the bed, heading back to the chair. “It’s just that Raven’s got enough on her plate-”

“It’s fine.” Clarke cut him off. She smiled softly, “I’ll do it.” 

“Thank you,” Bellamy smiled at her gratefully as he got up from his chair. He was almost out the door when Clarke called after him to stop. “What?” he asked over his shoulder. 

“You don’t have to thank me for anything,” Bellamy’s eyes remained locked on Clarke’s, she felt brave when he looked at her like that, like he was listening, “You didn’t have to let me stay but...You have and I appreciate it. Whatever I can do to contribute….I’ll do it.” Bellamy didn’t say anything, just closed the door behind him.

 

Raven was smart. Like really, really smart. She not only pulled all the research for the cases Bellamy went on, but she was able to hack and go deep into the web. She shut down pedophiles and murder websites. She linked cases and paid attention to the cops, tipping Bellamy off in case they were closing in. She even monitored the FBI. Raven Reyes was a super genius. She taught Clarke all she knew, and even though Clarke wasn’t as skilled as she was, if Raven was working, Clarke would be able to handle cases and call Bellamy to give him leads. She was finally useful. And useful felt good. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Raven asked with a smile one night. Raven was hacking into another dark web website to shut it down. Clarke was watching her with fascination. 

“You’re like a super genius Raven. Where did you learn all this?” she finally asked the question she’d been hanging onto for days. Raven’s attention was back on her hacking, but she spoke to Clarke as fingers moved quickly over the laptop. 

“When I was a kid, my mom did bad things. She brought a lot of strange men home. Sometimes they stayed in her room for hours and would come out stumbling, high on whatever they were doing. Sometimes the men would want to take pictures of me,” Clarke looked at her friend with wide eyes, Raven continued, “One day a guy came over. And he wanted more than pictures of me. That’s the first time I really remember my mom being a mom. She fought him. And he killed her. I was hiding in the closet. He didn’t look for me….I stayed with my mom for a few hours,I remember just lying there next to her. I remember hugging her body, and feeling the heat leave her. When the cops finally found me they had to drag me away from her.” Raven paused, her face was expressionless, totally focused on the task at hand. Clarke felt her own tears sliding down her face. She never would have had any idea. “Indra adopted me. And as I got older she started telling me more and more about what she did. I learned from her, just like Bellamy and Octavia. One night I was doing some research in the dark web….and I found some pictures that had been taken of me….that’s when I knew what i was good for in this life. I shut the page down, got all the real names of the people who had commented on my photos and reported it anonymously to the FBI. It took me days, but the relief I felt after….it was the best high.” she smiled to herself now, thinking about how good it felt to taste revenge. “Bellamy’s a killer, he likes the physical act. But there are just as many demons in the digital world. That’s who I go after.” 

Clarke didn’t know what to say. She was speechless. This girl had become her closest friend, had saved her, welcomed her into her home, and Clarke had never thought to ask about her life before. Raven looked up only to be surprised by Clarke’s arms wrapping around her shoulders. Clarke hugged her friend tightly. Raven smiled against Clarke’s shoulder, she hugged her back. 

“I’m so sorry.” she said. She now understood the frustration that was felt between both Bellamy and Raven, towards her. If she wanted to go home she could, her mom was still there. Neither of them had their parents. There was nothing to go back to but this life. This life their adoptive mother pushed them into. They didn’t have a choice, Clarke did. 

“Jesus Clarke you’re gonna make me cry.” Raven’s voice trembled, she gripped the back of Clarke’s shirt. Clarke laughed,pulling away to wipe her eyes. 

“I’m just….How do you smile? How do you keep going? After everything you’ve seen? All you’ve done?” Raven licked her lips, her brow furrowing in concentration. She sighed, tapping away at the computer once again. 

“I think of the good things. Bad shit happens. But it only bothers you if you let it.” Yeah, Raven was amazing. 

  
  


“I emailed you the GPS.” Clarke said, scribbling on her notepad, Raven was working and she was at home, trying to find another job for Bellamy. He’d been on the road for two weeks, doing one job after the other. 

“Okay.” Clarke heard him say on the other end of the line. She heard whimpering and the tremble of chains. She didn’t ask about it. 

“Do you need anything else?”

“How are you two doing?” he was referring to her and Raven of course. She was happy he included her this time. 

“We’re good, Raven’s at work right now.” 

“Alright. Well I am too. I’ll call if I need anything else.”

“Be safe Bellamy.” she’d been saying this recently to both him and Raven, anytime they left the house. She wanted them to know she cared, especially after hearing Raven’s story. It changed the way she looked at both of them. Bellamy surprised her this time though, because instead of just hanging up he said;

“See you soon.” Clarke smiled as the line went dead. 

  
  


Bellamy came home the week after the phone call, and to celebrate he decided to take Raven and Clarke out for dinner. Raven canceled, she had another date. This guy’s name was Zeke. Clarke liked him. He was nice to her, definitely not sleazy. They had a lot in common. Bellamy shoved his hands into his pockets, waiting by the door while Clarke put her coat on. 

“Where are we going?” he didn’t say anything, just opened the door for her and followed her out to the van. 

 

Clarke moaned as she bit into the burger, grease slid down her chin, she wiped it away with her napkin, chewing slowly. Bellamy chuckled, shaking his head at her. 

“You act like you’ve never had a burger before,” Clarke winced, he spoke through a mouthful of food. It made her cringe. 

"This is delicious. The best burger I’ve ever had." Bellamy nodded in agreement, swallowing his food and taking a sip of his coke. 

"We should play some pool after this, you ever play?" Bellamy said, nodding to the table where some large men, who looked like bikers, were gathered. Clarke swallowed hard at the thought of all the germs covering the pool tables and cues.

“I’ve never played….” Bellamy shrugged, he stood up from his seat, and held his hand out to Clarke. Clarke reached into her bag and handed him hand sanitizer. He rolled his eyes.

“Really?”

“Don’t act so surprised.” Clarke liked his smile, the way his lips quirked when he didn’t want to laugh but couldn’t stop himself. He squirted some on his hands and rubbed them together before handing it back to Clarke. He offered her his hand again and after she cleaned her hands she took it.  

"It's cool, if you don’t want to play. You can watch me first. But if you want to try it out I’ll help you." He gave Clarke a flirty wink, which made her blush. "I call next game." He nodded to the men who turned to him with judgmental eyes.

"Pfft," A man, about Bellamy’s height, but twice as thick scoffed.

"Why don't you take yer' girlfriend and get out of here." Clarke half hid herself behind Bellamy. She didn’t like the way the man looked at her, eyeing her like she was a piece of meat. Bellamy had seen it too, his eyes narrowed at the man. “Go to Chuck E Cheese or something.” he and his friends chortled with laughter. 

"What's your problem, man?" Bellamy stepped up to him, the man looked shocked, surprised that this ‘kid’ had the balls to stand up to him. Bellamy was fearless, and his face was dark with danger. Only Clarke knew what he was capable of. 

"Wait your turn kid.” The man said with a low warning. Bellamy scowled, turning away and grabbing Clarke by her elbow. He walked them back toward their seat, but at the last minute, turned toward the jukebox instead. 

"See anything you wanna listen to?" Bellamy asked, pressing the button that flips the albums over to display them.

"I don’t know…..Vivaldi?" she asked quietly. She’d never really been into modern music. She liked classical. It was calming, soothing.

"What is that? Techno?" 

"He’s a classical composer" Clarke felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. What if he made fun of her? She prayed he wouldn’t 

"What like Mozart?" Clarke scoffed, wrinkling her nose. 

“Mozart is  _ way _ too overrated. He wasn’t even that good…” Bellamy’s eyes lit up as he found a song that he must of loved, he placed a quarter in the machine and pressed the button to start it. The beginnings of a rock ballad began. 

“I love Metallica.” He said. He grabbed Clarke’s hand and pulled her towards the middle of the bar. People were getting up, swarming, moving their hips to the beat of the song. Bellamy stopped a few feet from the crowd. 

"Who is the singer?" Clarke questioned. The man’s voice was deep and harsh, but flowed with the melody and guitar riffs. She really liked it. She listened to the instruments, the way they complimented the singer’s voice. It was really good. 

"James Hetfield….So do you dance?” he asked after a beat. Clarke looked up to see he was serious. He wasn’t flirting with her or teasing her. He genuinely wanted to know. 

“N-Not really.”

“Do you want to?”

She looked at the people around them, dancing and smiling, enjoying themselves. She smiled and turned back to Bellamy who was waiting for her answer. “Sure.” Bellamy took her hands in his and pulled her to him, She placed one hand on his shoulder and he placed one on her hip. They moved slowly to the beat of the music, not really paying attention to anyone else. Clarke knew she was blushing, but Bellamy didn’t say anything about it. He pulled back and spun her, she giggled and he laughed. They were having fun. 

“So...how did you find this band?” Clarke asked him. Bellamy clicked his tongue. 

“My mom liked Metallica. She was a metalhead. I was raised on it.” 

“What was your mom like?” Clarke asked. She didn’t want to pry, but he never talked about her, she wondered if maybe he’d be willing too now. 

“She was….” he faded off, eyes looking distant. “She was amazing.” He squeezed Clarke’s hand and smiled down at her. “She was the best woman I’ve ever known.” 

“I’m sorry you lost her,” Clarke shouted in his ear, the song was picking up. He pressed her closer to him. He smelled like aftershave and sandalwood. It was pleasant. 

“Happened a long time ago. Don’t worry about it.” Clarke opened her mouth to say something else when she felt something pinch her. Hard. On her butt. 

She jumped, whipping her head around to see the man who had leered at her earlier walking away through the crowd. Bellamy must have seen him do it, because he let Clarke go and started to follow the man. Clarke reached for his arm, but he shook her off. 

“Hey!” He shouted. The guy turned around, only to be met by Bellamy’s right hook. Bellamy’s fist connected with his nose. There was a sickening crunch sound, he sent the man flying backwards into one of the pool tables. 

"Bastard!" The man gurgled. His friends were coming at Bellamy in seconds. Two large men swung at Bellamy. He ducked, hitting one of them in the gut, before shoving Clarke to the greasy, dirty floor. Clarke gagged, suddenly feeling light headed.

Germs. There were so many germs. 

She barfed, all over the floor. Humiliated she shakily scrambled to her feet, running for the women’s restroom. The sound of the fight echoing in her ears. She could feel them crawling all over her. The maggots, the germs, she was filthy. Filthy. Filthy.  She turned the water to scalding hot and scrubbed. She scrubbed her fingers until they were a angry raw red. 

Clarke exited the bathroom to see a waitress tapping her foot impatiently. She glared accusingly at Clarke. “Your boyfriend’s outside. You need to leave. And I’ll tell you the same thing I told him. Don’t come back.” Clarke shoved her hands in her pockets and walked briskly out the door, keeping her head down. 

The air was cool and it soothed her raw and throbbing fingers. Bellamy was standing by the van door. His lip was bleeding and he had the beginnings of a black eye. 

“Would you laugh if I told you, ‘you should see the other guy’?” Clarke reached up, her fingers brushed over his bruised eye. He winced. 

“You’re gonna need to put some ice on that.” Bellamy grunted. 

“That guy. He touched you. Didn’t he.” Clarke nodded. Bellamy swallowed. 

“You okay?”

“I just wanna go home.” Clarke wrapped her arms around herself. Bellamy stepped forward, and awkwardly threw his arm over her shoulder. He walked with her around to the passenger side of the van and opened the door for her. She stopped him from shutting it. “Why did you push me onto the floor? It was swarming with bacteria.” Bellamy shrugged, giving her a boyish grin. 

“Didn’t want you to get in the way.” He shut the door. 

 

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> violence, blood, gore, cursing, hinted drug use

“What the hell happened to  _ you _ ?” Raven looked up from the fridge as Clarke and Bellamy came in. Her friend, Zeke, sat at the kitchen table, Raven sat a glass of ice water in front of him. “Well?” she asked, waiting for Bellamy to reply. He shrugged. 

“Some dick pinched Clarke’s ass,” Raven shook her head, she walked over to Bellamy and grabbed his face, she took in the damage, which wasn’t much. “I’m not really hurt.”

“I can see that.” she said, letting him go and sitting back down by Zeke. “This is Zeke. Zeke, this is Bellamy, my brother, and Clarke.” He raised his hand in hello. 

“Hey. Cool that you protected your girl like that.” Clarke felt blood rush to her cheeks, she took a step away from Bellamy, who cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“She’s not my girl.”

“Oh,” Zeke caught on to the awkwardness, “My bad, I thought you two were dating.” Raven intervened. 

“No. Clarke’s a friend who’s staying with us for a while.” she grabbed Zeke’s hand, pulling him from his chair. “We’ve got some stuff to talk about.” she whipped around to wink at Clarke and Bellamy before heading towards her room. “Do  _ not _ disturb us.”

Bellamy and Clarke stand there for a moment longer, avoiding each other’s gaze. Bellamy cleared his throat again. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to play pool.” he said after a moment. Clarke smiled shyly, slipping out of her shoes. 

“It’s okay….I really did have a good time.” Bellamy’s expression changed from awkward and shy, to something akin to hope. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Clarke reassured. She reached out and wrapped an arm around Bellamy, hugging into his side. He didn’t move, too surprised by her actions.”Thank you.” She smiled, gave his waist a small squeeze and turned down the hall towards her own bedroom. 

  
  


_ The hammer comes down. Pain. White hot pain shoots up Clarke’s leg and into her brain. She can’t take it. Her back arches off the bed as her good leg scrambles, trying to back away. Finn’s face is in front of hers, he’s laughing, spit flying. All she can feel is pain. All she can hear is screams. “Clarke!” he shouts at her, grabbing her arms. He shakes her. “Clarke-” _

 

“Bellamy what are you doing!?” Raven and Zeke were brought to the room, awakened by Clarke’s incessant and agonizing screams. Raven stood in the doorway, hand over her mouth, Zeke stood beside her, an arm wrapped around her shoulders.Bellamy had Clarke by the shoulders. He shook her, trying to wake her. 

“Clarke!” his voice was loud and firm as he tried to wake her up. She continued to scream. “Clarke wake up!” Her fingers connected with his face, she grated her nails down, pulling skin and drawing blood. He grunted in pain, but continued to try and wake her. “Clarke!” Her eyes snapped open. She looked around, eyes darting back and forth, breath caught in her throat as she tried to recognize her surroundings. 

“Bella….” Her voice broke and she began to sob. Bellamy pulled her up, wrapping his arms around her awkwardly. She buried her face in his chest, soft sobs muffled in his faded grey t shirt. He turned his head to look at Raven, who was pale and worried, she always looked like that when Clarke had a nightmare or a flashback. Zeke made eye contact with Bellamy and quietly ushered Raven away from the door and back to her own room. Bellamy sat on the edge of Clarke’s bed, just holding her and letting her cry.

“It’s okay Clarke….He’s gone. He can’t hurt you anymore.” Bellamy began to rock, gently, something he used to do when Octavia or Raven cried. He placed a hand on the back of her head and hugged her tightly. “He’s gone.” he repeated soothingly. 

“I...I killed him.” Clarke pulled back to look up into Bellamy’s face. His expression was soft, to look at him now, you wouldn’t see the cold and calculating killer. You would see a boy, trying to comfort a friend. He brought his hand from the back of her head and brushed her hair from her face. 

“You killed him. Yeah.”

“So why won’t it stop? Why won’t the nightmares go away?” Bellamy didn’t have an answer for her. The nightmares never went away. The ghosts always stayed. 

“Clarke, it takes time. One day it won’t bother you anymore.” He punched himself internally. Really? That was all he had to say to her. Clarke was looking at her hands, sat open in her lap, she bit her lip. 

“What if….” she trailed off shaking her head, Bellamy looked at her curiously. 

“What if what?” he asked. 

“What if….What if you stayed? Just tonight….In here?” Bellamy’s lips parted, he sucked in a sharp breath. 

“Clarke I don’t think-”

“I feel safe with you Bellamy. You saved me from that guy earlier and….and maybe if I know you’re here I’ll sleep better.” the look on her face was so innocent. Almost child like, as if she were only asking him to check for monsters under the bed. He sighed, knowing he was defeated. Knowing that he would give in. 

“You’ve never slept with a guy before. That’s what you said the first night we met.” 

“I did. But….Bellamy I trust you.” he scoffed. “I know that sounds crazy. You did kidnap me. But you’re lying to yourself if you say you don’t think of me as a friend. I’m asking you, as a friend, to stay with me tonight. Keep me safe. Help me sleep. Please?” a small smile dances on the edge of his lips. 

“You’re a pain in the ass you know that?” she smiled. He was giving in. 

“I know.” she moved over, throwing back the covers of her bed. He hesitated, touching the edge of the mattress with his fingertips. Their eyes locked onto each other, a question and an answer passing between them. Bellamy slid into her bed, lying on his back, arms crossed behind his head. Clarke settled in beside him and when she was comfortable he reached over and turned off the light. There was a space between them, almost like an invisible line, neither dared to cross. 

“Night.” Bellamy said to the darkness. Clarke didn’t answer, already drifting back into sleep.  

  
  


Raven tiptoed quietly towards Clarke’s room. She wanted to check on her friend, she hadn’t slept much after the night’s antics. She slipped out from under Zeke’s warm embrace and had left her room for Clarke the second the sun shined into her eyes. She opened the door to Clarke’s room as quietly as she could, only to freeze at the sight before her.  Sometime during the night, Bellamy and Clarke had intertwined, her head lay on his chest, arm thrown across his belly and leg hooked over his hip. His arms were wrapped tightly, protectively around her. They were breathing easy, deeply. Raven grinned and closed the door. 

 

Something heavy and warm lay over Bellamy. He groaned, slowly opening his eyes. A mess of blonde hair was directly in his line of sight. It was Clarke. Clarke laying on him. She had an arm around him and her leg hooked over his hip. She was very nearly on top of him. Bellamy shifted, gently pushing her off of him, she sighed and rolled onto her back. 

He studied her for a moment, her eyes fluttering behind the veil of her lids, lost in peaceful dreams. Her demons forgotten. Bellamy slowly eased himself out of her bed and prayed as he left, that she wouldn't remember he'd even been there.

 

Bellamy was gone by the time Clarke woke up. She decided, as she splashed her face with cold water, that she wouldn't bring it up unless he did. But she was grateful, she hadn't slept so deeply in months. She smiled, looking at her reflection. She felt good.

 

Raven was at her computer and Bellamy was making cereal when Clarke finally emerged from the bathroom. She sat down beside Raven. 

“Morning.” her friend chimed teasingly. Clarke nudged her gently. 

“I don't have to ask how your night was,” she looked around. “Where is your date anyway?” 

“Zeke had to work,” Raven took a sip of orange juice. “Did you sleep better with my brother?” Clarke's mouth fell open, she looked down at the table, not daring to look at Bellamy. The tension rose as silence stretched. Raven snorted and rolled her eyes, “my god it was a joke guys.” Clarke was about to say something when she saw Ravens phone light up on the table. Octavia's name flashed across the screen. “Get that will you?” Raven asked Clarke. She looked up to see Raven hammering away on her laptop, Bellamy was leaning cool against the kitchen counter, the tension from moments before forgotten.Clarke picked it up. 

“Hey Octavia-” 

“Tell Blake I have his sister.” The line went dead. 

“Clarke,” she knew he read the expression on her face as she brought the phone down from her ear. It lit up again with a text. Bellamy snatched the phone from Clarke before she could read the text. His eyes scanned the message, Clarke felt the tension rising again, panic was beginning to set in as she watched Bellamy go from curious to angry in just the span of a few milliseconds. Raven was obviously unaware in her laptop. “Clarke,” Bellamy's voice was laced with rage. Raven looked up now, aware of Bellamy's change of tone. “What did they say?”

Clarke licked her lips, “they said they have your sister.”

“Was it a man?” Bellamy asked. Clarke nodded. “ _ Fuck _ .”

“What happened?” Ravens face was pale, she standing now, hovering over her laptop, eyes on Bellamy. He ran a hand down his face before growling in frustration. 

“ It's him! I swear to God It's him!”

“Who?” Raven shouted. Bellamy’s sudden change in mood was affecting her as well. She walked around the table and stood mere inches from him. “What the fuck was that?” he shoved the phone in her face. 

“This address. This is the place I found Gina's body! The fucked that killed Gina has Octavia.” Clarke didn't know what to do. She sat awkwardly watching the exchange between brother and sister. Bellamy pushed past Raven and grabbed his jacket, shoving his arms through the sleeves violently. “That warehouse is about a day's drive from here. I can make it in under that if I take the back roads and speed.” He grabbed his keys. Clarke's head was spinning. Everything was happening so fast.

“Bellamy wait.” Clarke stood, moving past Raven to stand by Bellamy. He looked down at her annoyance clear in his eyes. “I'll go with you.”

“Clarke no.” Raven grabbed her arm, “You can't.”

“If he speeds he could get caught by the cops or something. If anything bad happens he can use me as leverage to get away. I'm still technically ‘missing’.” Raven looked at Bellamy. She shook her head, eyes pleading for him to say no. 

“It's not a bad idea.” Ravens shoulders fall. “She could be useful.” Clarke felt relief and gratitude course through her. She wanted to help. These people who had done so much for her. It was the least she could do. Raven gripped Clarke's arm harder, pulling her into a hug. 

“Be safe.” she mumbled into Clarke's shoulder. Clarke hugged her just as tight. “Come home.” She looked at Bellamy as she released Clarke. “Both of you.” 

  
  
  


The car ride was silent. Bellamy had hit the gas hard and sped out of the driveway. Clarke’s stomach was in knots, she'd never met Octavia, but she knew the girl was the apple of her siblings eyes. She hoped they got there in time. 

“What happens,after this,” Bellamy grunted, eyes focused on the road, but acknowledging Clarke's words. “If this is the guy who killed Gina with the order. And you get your revenge, what next?” 

“Same I've been doin’”

“You'll still kill people?” 

“Yup.” He popped the ‘p’. 

“Why?” 

“Its all I know Clarke.” she fell silent, chewing on the inside of her lip. She didn't know what else to say. “Do you want to go home?” Bellamy's voice was quiet, he tried to sound nonchalant, but Clarke knew, she knew she was more than just a hostage or acquaintance.

“No.” She said firmly. Bellamy chuckled. 

“What are you looking for?” he asked, all seriousness again. “From me. From my family.” he clarified when she gave him a confused look. “Whatever you're looking for, are you sure you'll find it with us?” 

“I found friends….I found….” She wanted to say family, but decided not to, she didn't know how he would react to that. “I found something I'm useful at.” Bellamy glanced at her quickly before looking back at the long stretch of road. 

“You’re somethin’ else you know that?” Bellamy finally said after a long moment of silence. Clarke smiled to herself and stretched out, propping her feet up on the dash and leaning her seat back. 

“I know.”

“Go ahead and get some sleep okay? I’m driving all night.” Clarke’s eyes widened in shock. 

“How are you going to stay up?” she asked, he pulled a little silver vial from his pocket. 

“I got my God in my pocket.” Clarke didn’t get it. “The Weeknd. It’s a song?” Bellamy sighed, shaking his head. “Sometimes I wonder if you’re an alien.”

“My home planet is Mars.” he rolled his eyes with a smirk. 

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll wake you when we get there.”    
  


_ Suddenly it’s sunny. She’s on the pier again. She looks up to see a woman pushing a carriage, she’s wearing a black dress, and walking away from her. Lexa. It’s Lexa again. Clarke watches her, calls for her, but she just keeps walking, pushing the carriage  along. She runs after Lexa, trying to look around her and into the stroller, all the while calling her name. Finally Lexa hears her. She turns, smiles and waves. Clarke grins, her heart leaping with joy, she slowed to a jog, getting closer. Lexa reaches down to pick something up, out of the stroller. Clarke is only a few feet from her now, their eyes meeting, she slows to a walk, Lexa begins to lift whatever is in the carriage- _

 

“Clarke. We’re here.” Clarke opened her eyes, raising her hand to shield them from the brightness of the sun. She yawned, stretching her arms above her head before sitting up. Bellamy had dark circles under his eyes, his jaw was clenched and his shoulders rigid. They were sitting in a empty parking lot, a large warehouse set in front of them. Bellamy whipped his phone out, the screen had lit up, Octavia’s name across the screen. He answered it. “Hello?......Yeah…...No. It’s just me-” Clarke opened her mouth but Bellamy raised his hand. “Okay….I’ll come in alone.” Bellamy set the phone down and turned to Clarke. 

“I’m not letting you go in alone.” He shook his head. 

“You agreed to come as leverage. That’s the only reason I brought you here.”

“But Bellamy-”

“I can’t lose you too.” Bellamy blurted. His eyes were wide and serious. “I can’t lose another person okay….I won’t. So stay in the fucking van. I’ll be out with Octavia.” He jumped down out of the van and slammed it.

 

Bellamy walked cautiously towards the back door of the warehouse. He looked back at the van, eyes on Clarke, before turning back towards the door. He pushed it open and stepped into the darkness. Before his eyes could adjust Strong arms wrapped around him from behind, a rag was shoved into his mouth and blackness met him quickly. 

 

Clarke had only been sitting in the van for a few minutes, when suddenly the door was yanked open. She screamed as a man in a ski mask grabbed at her legs, yanking her out of the van. She shrieked, kicking with all her might. She fell, hitting her head hard on the black top and falling into darkness. 

 

_ “I’ve got you, under my skin. I’ve got you, deep in the heart of me.”  _  Bellamy groaned, eyes opening slowly as he started to come back around. His arms were tied behind his back. He was sitting in a chair, his legs were tied to that. He was almost completely naked. His boxers all that covered him.  _ “So deep in my heart, that you’re really apart of me. I’ve got you under my skin.” _ He took a shaky breath, his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach as he recognized the song. It was theirs…..His and Gina’s. 

A man stood at a table in front of him, his back to Bellamy. He could see the man holding up and examining instruments of torture. Bellamy felt hopelessness. He wouldn’t save Octavia. Not if he couldn’t get out of this. “I’ve got you, deep in the heart of me.” the man sings along, turning to finally face Bellamy. “So glad to finally meet you Mr. Blake. Face to face.” he grinned, taking a hacksaw and wiping the blade on a bloodstained apron he wore around his waist. He raised the hacksaw, swaying slowly to the beat of the song, as if to taunt Bellamy. “You like this song? Of course you do. It was her favorite.” 

“Fuck you.” Bellamy spat. It only made him smile wider. 

“No need for vulgarity. Weren’t you raised with manners? Tsk. Tsk. You know that sister of yours is a pretty little thing.” Bellamy snarled. “I can’t wait to see what her insides look like….Oh and that girl that was in your van.” Bellamy was astounded. How did he know…. “She’ll be another pretty little thing to add to my collection.” 

“Leave them alone!” Bellamy cried out, he leaned forward, trying to free himself, but the restraints were tight. “Leave them the fuck alone!” The man knelt down in front of Bellamy. He placed the hack saw beneath his chin, tilting his face up. Bellamy looked into those cold, empty eyes, and for the first time in years. He was frightened. 

“I’ll slaughter them like cattle. I’ll scrape the flesh from their bones and give the bones to my dogs. I’ll disrespect them and violate them the way you did to me. I’m a businessman. And when my workers start to die, that affects my business.” he sniggered. “Fortunately for me that won’t be a problem much longer.” He stood, turning from Bellamy to grab a remote. The song shut off, something else began to play. 

_ “Stop! Stop please! Bellamy!”  _  Bellamy felt his mind go blank, on the brink of insanity as the sounds of Gina in agonizing pain, began to surge into his ears. The man stood back. He laughed, and laughed, and laughed at Bellamy’s pain. He would torture him and then, slowly, put the bastard out of his misery. For now he would enjoy the symphony of agony he’d created. 

  
  


Clarke groaned, rolling onto her back as she began to climb back towards consciousness, she felt someone leaning over her nd once she opened her eyes, blinking to adjust. She came face to face with a cute girl who resembled Bellamy. Her long brown hair shielded Clarke's face as she leaned over her, her eyes a piercing blue and a small cut on her lip. 

“Octavia?” she asked.

“You know me?”

“I know your brother.” Clarke grunted in pain as she sat up. There was a wet spot on the back of her head, her hair was matted, when she touched it and brought her hand away, she saw she was bleeding, pretty profusely. 

“Where is my brother? Is he here?” Octavia asked. Her voice full of hope. 

“Yeah. I came with him. But they pulled me out of the van.” 

Clarke heard the sound of footsteps coming towards them. Octavia scrambled back against the wall. “Shield your eyes.” she hissed. “They have a light.” Clarke did as she was told. She brought her hand to her face, cupping it over her forehead. Just as Octavia had said, a bright, florescent light flickered on, and an overweight, middle aged man stood in the doorway. He was bald, and his bare arms were covered in tattoos. He held a gun in his hand. He pointed at Clarke. 

“You. Come.” his voice was low and harsh, as if he smoked too many cigarettes. Clarke stood rooted to the spot. The man huffed, and took a menacing step forward. “I said-” Octavia sprinted forward, she slid across the ground, leg out, and knocked the man onto his back. Clarke watched in amazement as the small girl crawled over the man to put him in a headlock. He fought, slapping at her face and trying to undo her hold. For a girl smaller and younger than Clarke, she could hold her own. With a quick twist of her hands she snapped the man’s neck, leaving him lifeless on the ground. Clarke looked at her in amazement. 

“What?” Octavia said, as if what she just did was nothing. “Usually there’s more than one. Kinda hard to take on four dudes when you’re one girl. We got lucky. Come on.” the dark haired girl grabbed Clarke’s arm and yanked her out of the room and down the hallway. 

They slunk beside the walls, keeping low and close together. They could hear the faint sounds of screaming and crying. It sounded like a woman. Clarke tapped Octavia’s shoulder, stopping the girl. She turned to look at Clarke, the same annoyed expression Bellamy got, on her face. “What?”she spat. 

“Go outside. To the van. Wait for me there. I’ll bring Bellamy out.” Octavia looked Clarke up and down mockingly.

“No way. I don’t even know you. And did you see me back there? Yeah. He’s my brother. I’ll save his ass.” she faced forward and began walking again. Clarke lumbered behind her, feeling embarrassed. Ahead, they began to hear voices, the screaming was lower, almost as if the volume had been turned down. They followed the noises. 

 

“If I’d never killed Gina you never would have found that cute little blondie. Would you? What does she mean to you Bellamy? Is she your angel? Is she pure as fresh snow? Is that why you keep her hidden in your home with your other little sister?” The man swallowed at his words, he spoke with false sympathy. Clarke and Octavia slowly crept closer towards the room where his voice was coming from. "I've been watching you. The way you look at her, it's disgusting really. Do you want to taint her pure little soul?" the voice was lower now, almost aroused. The girls stopped by the doorway.   "Gina screamed. As you can tell. Haha. She begged for me to let her go. That you would save her. But you didn't Bellamy, you failed her. You’re no one’s hero." Whoever this man was, made Clarke’s blood boil. How dare he mock Bellamy like that. Clarke could see the pain in his eyes every time he thought of Gina. She knew what he thought of himself, as worthless, no good for anyone. But nothing could be further from the truth. 

"Now this blondie….she's even prettier than Gina. And your little sister is absolutely gorgeous. She'll scream won't she? You shouldn't get so close to things so pure, Bellamy. You might make them dirty. Useless, like you. You’re pathetic." the man sneered. Through all of this, Clarke hadn’t heard Bellamy utter a word. “You think you save lives, by killing evil? You’re no better than the murderers and rapists you pick off. You’re going to die the same way you kill.” there was a brief pause, the sound of skin being sliced by something and Bellamy grunting, “Isn’t that fitting?”

"Fuck you!" Bellamy finally snarled, Clarke and Octavia could hear him struggling. 

"I wonder if your princess will cry. I bet she looks so pretty with tears in her eyes.” Clarke’s breath caught in her throat. They reached the doorway and Octavia held out her arm, stopping Clarke from moving forward. She wondered for a moment, how many times Octavia had accompanied Bellamy on a job. She had too. For how strong she was. Octavia looked back at Clarke before motioning with her head that they could enter the room. They stayed low on the wall, heading towards a ratty couch sat in the corner. They slid behind it, peeking over to take in their surroundings. Bellamy was tied to a chair in the middle of the room. A tall man wearing an apron was standing with his back to all of them, fiddling with some tools on a table and humming softly. Clarke’s stomach churned when she looked at Bellamy. Surveying the damage. Bellamy was bloodied, tied up to a chair He was naked, large lacerations were whipped up and down his body. Blood oozed down his sides to drip onto the floor by his bare feet.

"You touch a fucking hair on her head and I'll fucking obliterate you! I will skull fuck you so hard I will break you in half!" Bellamy snarled viciously like a wild animal, struggling violently against the restraints.

"You're bleeding out, relax." The man stepped forward, a knife flashed in Clarke’s eye sight as the man dug it into Bellamy’s side. Bellamy hissed, gritting his teeth. 

"We aren’t all that different Bellamy. You and I. We kill for vengeance." he twisted the knife, “we kill because it feels good.”

“I’ll never be like you.” Bellamy said breathlessly, “You killed an innocent woman out of spite. I would never.”

“Wouldn’t you?” the man teased. 

"Shut your fucking mouth  _ Wallace. _ " Bellamy sneered. So that was his name. Wallace. 

“You took that poor blonde girl because you wanted her. You can tell yourself it was to save your ass but I can see right through you. You  _ want _ to hurt her. You want a reason. You’d kill her the second she did something you didn’t want her to do.” he pulled the knife out, brought it to his lips and licked the blood from it. “I don’t need her to do something to hurt her. I’ll just hurt her. Her skin looks so soft. Maybe I’ll make a rug from her.”

"Don't touch her." Bellamy panted, green eyes ablaze with hatred.

"I'll take good care of her." he cooed. Bellamy started up his struggle again, blood flying from his wounds. Clarke heard Octavia curse, and before she could react, Octavia jumped over the couch and hurled herself towards Wallace. 

“O!” Bellamy shouted in alarm. Clarke unfroze, regaining her movement, she too jumped over the couch and ran to Bellamy. 

Octavia roundhouse kicked him, causing him to fly backwards, blood spurting from his mouth. She grabbed two knives from the table and twirled them in her fingers before running back at him. He tried to swing at her, but she got him under the arm, shoving the knife up into his armpit. He laughed, blood flying from his mouth, his teeth glinting with it. 

"My little sister’s gonna bury your ass! Don’t kill him O!" Bellamy shouted. His eyes were wide and crazy, as if he couldn’t believe Octavia had escaped. Clarke knelt in front of Bellamy, relief flooding her, thankful he was still alive.

"Bellamy-" she breathed, before she knew what she was doing, she grabbed his sweaty, blood stained face in her hands and pressed their foreheads together. Octavia subdued Wallace in the background, slamming his head against the table and knocking him unconscious. Bellamy chuckled, he sounded exhausted, and in pain.

“Clarke.” Bellamy whispered, as if he were saying her name for the first time. “What happened to staying in the van?” he asked. 

“This guy’s goons pulled me out. Threw me in a room with your sister,” Clarke glanced at Octavia who was shutting and locking the door to the room. “She’s quite the bad ass.” Bellamy smirked. 

“Don’t inflate her ego anymore than it already is.” Clarke giggled, before getting back to business. 

"I'm going to free you." she said, she turned away, grabbing another knife from the table, the man had laid out all sorts of equipment to torture Bellamy. She grabbed a short blade and began sawing through the ropes that bound him. 

“Guys we gotta hurry. People are going to be coming soon.” Octavia said. 

Clarke sawed off the ropes, averting her gaze when she got to his legs, he was naked, all but his boxers, and freed him quickly. She threw his arm over her shoulder and helped him stand. Blood seemed to pour out of him. 

“He’s losing too much blood. We have to go.” Octavia nodded. She opened the door. 

“You two go. I’ll be right out.” She pointed behind herself at Wallace. “I’ll bring him with.” Clarke looked at her confused and afraid. They just came to rescue her and she was staying behind. “Leverage.” Octavia clarified. Clarke nodded and stumbled out the door with Bellamy.

"Bellamy I….I'm sorry-"  _ Sorry for what? _ She thought.  _ Sorry I couldn't protect him as much as he protected me?  _ _ Sorry Gina was dead?  _ Clarke didn't say any more. There was too much to be sorry for. Bellamy only nodded wearily, she was very nearly dragging him, he stumbled over his feet.

"Don’t leave her….Don’t leave O behind...." Bellamy was breathless, his eyes were rolling into the back of his head. He was losing consciousness. 

There was comotion behind her, Clarke could hear people shouting and the grunts of Octavia as she tried to fend them off. She acted as though she couldn’t handle more than one person at a time earlier, but maybe she had been waiting for her brother to save her. Clarke didn’t know. She pulled Bellamy out of the back door, shifting so she was dragging him, under his armpits towards the van. A trail of blood left in her wake. 

 

Octavia emerged from the building covered in blood, the man who had tortured Bellamy thrown over her shoulder. She carried him with ease. She threw open the back van door and tossed the guy in head first. He landed with a sharp thud at the foot of the mattress Bellamy lay on. Octavia hopped in, shutting the door. 

“Keys.” she said, holding her hand out. Clarke tossed them to her, and Octavia maneuvered her way to the front seat. 

Clarke was doing all she could to save Bellamy. He would need actual medical attention of course, but she stopped the bleeding as best she could and used a tourniquet where she needed. Bellamy was sweaty and shivering, she was afraid he was going into shock. 

“Octavia he needs a doctor?” she said as Octavia peeled away from the warehouse. 

“I’m on it….Why the hell did that guy take me anyway?”

“I don’t know. Do you remember what happened?”

 

“Dude jumped me when I was walking back from the library, shoved a rag in my mouth. Next thing I knew I was in that room.” she shook her head, flying down the road. “Who are you anyway? Are you Clarke?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Sorry for snapping before. Raven’s told me good things about you.” Clarke smiled, Bellamy moaned and she pressed down harder, applying more pressure to his rib wound. “Is he okay?” Octavia’s voice was piqued with worry. 

“He’s going into shock. He needs a doctor now Octavia.” The engine revved as Octavia floored it. Clarke looked down at Bellamy, his brow furrowed in pain, his face, a sick greenish color, his lips pale. Sweat covered his body as it shook violently. She leaned down, smoothing her hand through his hair. “Hold on Bellamy please. Please hold on. For Raven. For Octavia.” she kissed his cheek gently. “And for me.”

 

Bellamy was okay. Octavia and Clarke made up the story that he’d been mugged, they tried to help him and brought him to the hospital.He was stitched up and given blood transfusions, and though they wanted him to stay over night he opted out. Yanking the IVs off his body and cussing out every nurse he saw, in typical Bellamy style. 

“You’re sure you’re all right O?” Bellamy asked. They were in front of Octavia’s dorm. They had left the hospital and headed straight for Octavia’s school. It was so weird. She hadn’t even bothered to get cleaned up. They’d been driving for two days straight, but her eyes still shined with bravery and brawn.Octavia wasn’t afraid of anything, or anyone. 

“I’m okay. Thanks to Clarke,” she flashed the girl a grin, her teeth were perfect. “Don’t worry about me. No one’s ever gonna get the jump on me again. Trust me.” she leaned over and kissed Bellamy on the cheek before climbing out of the van and walking towards her dorm. Clarke climbed into the front seat, relieved to be away from the unconscious man lying in the back. Bellamy silently pulled away from the college, and back towards the main road. 

They stopped at a motel. And got two beds. Like they had so long ago. Almost a year now. Clarke was watching the news, there hadn’t been any news coverage of her in a long time now. Like her parents had finally given up hope. It made her sad, but also relieved. She could be whoever she wanted to be now. 

She closed her eyes as Cage, that was the man’s name, Cage Wallace’s muffled screams roared from the next room, the smell of burnt flesh in the air made her feel woozy. She laid down on the clean sheets Bellamy had washed for her, willing herself to be numb. Willing herself not to barf. This was her life now.She chose this. 

"I wish you wouldn't do this." she finally told Bellamy, when he stepped out of the bathroom for a quick break. He was drenched with blood and sweat. But his eyes were mad, he looked aroused and high and happy all at the same time. He looked like danger. He grabbed a bottle of water from the mini fridge and chugged it, before tossing it to the floor. 

"No one asked you." Bellamy muttered, turning on his heel and reentering the bathroom. 

Clarke fell asleep to the sound of Cage Wallace’s screams. 

 

"Clarke, Clarke get up." Bellamy shook her gently. She looked down, noticing the blood under his fingernails. It made her wince. He looked down, seeing the look on her face and went to wash his hands in the sink as she yawned and stretched, rubbing her eyes. 

“What is it?” she asked weakly. 

"You up for a midnight drive?" he asked, wiping his hands on his jeans to dry them. She nodded blearily, still half asleep as Bellamy helped her with her coat, zipping it up like she was a child. “It’s chilly out.” he remarked. She said nothing.  Bellamy grabbed a couple trash bags, hoisting them over his shoulder. They looked heavy, Clarke decided not to think about what was in them as he tossed them into the back of the van and climbed into the front seat. 

"What was that?"she asked with a yawn.

"Just taking out the garbage." Bellamy’s voice had a smile in it,but she didn’t like his tone, so she placed her chin in her hand and stared out the window.  Dozing as Bellamy drove. Time moved quickly and slowly for her, it felt both like a minute and an hour when Bellamy’s turning the van off. Clarke sat up, and followed Bellamy to the back door.

“You ever see a alligator before?” Clarke shook her head. They were in a swampy area, mosquitoes flew all around them, cicadas and crickets sang softly in the night. He pulled the bags out of the van and dragged them towards the bank of the swamp. Clarke looked out and shrunk behind Bellamy when she saw two large, yellow eyes staring at her. He chuckled. “It’s okay. I won’t let ‘em get ya.” He opened the first bag and pulled something out. It looked like a severed arm, and tossed it into the swamp.There was sudden, rapid movement. 

Bellamy did this silently for a few minutes. Clarke stood by, arms wrapped tightly around herself as she watched him toss the body parts into the swamp for the gators to eat. 

"Are you gonna leave?" He always asked her this. But this time it was different. There was something different in his voice, as if a part of him, didn’t want her to. 

"No." Clarke replied. The sun was starting to come up, the sky was turning pink and orange, colors swirling and dancing together. 

"I’m sorry I dragged you into this...Into all of this.” he said finally. She knew what he meant. She knew he regretted taking her from that gas station. She didn’t though. The more she got to know him. And Raven. The more she had come to love them. Both of them. 

"If the police found his body they would have you arrested." she said slowly, watching an alligator's tail flip up as it took Cage’s torso beneath the surface. "It had to be done." she conclude with a nod. Bellamy was surprised by her statement. He stepped closer to her, wrapping an arm around her waist as they looked out over the swamp, watching the sun rise. 

“You are family….You  _ do _ know that don’t you Clarke?” he asked, tucking her in closer to him. She leaned her head against his chest, feeling his heartbeat rapidly beneath her ear. 

“Yeah,” she whispered, “I know.”

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> depression, anxiety, feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter. It's sort of a bridge between the beginning of the story and the ending. I hope you all enjoy it. I thought long and hard about how I wanted to do this and I think it turned out okay. I won't be posting for this story again until this weekend, but please enjoy what's been put up. Thank you for enjoying the story and hanging on with me, those of you that have been and are here.

“I'm glad everyone is okay. Octavia's back at school?” Raven’s voice was relieved through the speaker phone. Bellamy was driving, Clarke sat in the passenger seat. The sun was just coming up, turning the sky from a blood red to a light pink as it rose. 

“Yeah. We're gonna stop at a motel here to take a break and change my bandages, but we should be home by tonight or tomorrow morning.” Bellamy spoke loud enough for her to hear. 

“Actually. Got a couple jobs if you're up for it? You can hit them before you guys come home?” Clarke looked at Bellamy, it was up to him, if he wanted her to stay. He shrugged. 

“If you got the jobs we'll take em.” Clarke's eyes lit up with excitement. 

  
  


They arrived at the hotel just after 8:45 am. The front desk clerk is a petite brunette, who looked to be in her twenties. She frowned when she saw Clarke with Bellamy, only to smile when he asked for a room with two beds. Clarke rolled her eyes. 

“How many nights?” the girl asked. She batted her eyelashes at Bellamy. His sunglasses were on but he took them off, revealing all of his handsome features to this girl. 

“Just one. We've got work to do, otherwise,” he looked the girl up and down, “I'd definitely stay longer.” The girl blushed and handed Clarke the room keys, her eyes never leaving Bellamy. 

“Is there anything else I can do to make your stay more….comfortable,” the way she said that made Clarke cringe inwardly. Bellamy didn't seem to mind though, it only egged him on. 

“Actually babe, can we get a clean set of sheets. Like just got done being washed. And some cleaning supplies.” Clarke looked at Bellamy in surprise. She knew he asked for her sake, she just thought he'd forget about it and she'd have to ask herself. 

The girl looked like she was about ready to topple over when he called her ‘babe’ but scurried to the back to get the supplies he asked for. Bellamy looked down at Clarke, who was frowning. 

“What?” he asked. 

“You shouldn't take your sunglasses off. What if she recognized you.” His eyebrows furrowed. 

“Are you okay?” he reached out to touch her arm but the girl came bounding around the corner, arms full of blankets and cleaning supplies. Clarke took them from the girl quickly. 

“I'll be in the room.” She turned on her heel and stomped away.

 

It was little things like that, that were starting to irk Clarke. little spurts of jealousy would flare everytime Bellamy flirted with another girl. Yesterday at the dinner they stopped to eat at, today at the motel. He didn't seem to notice it made her uncomfortable. Or if he did he didn't care. Clarke was frustrated. She liked Bellamy and she wanted him to look at her like that. And talk to her that way and maybe….

 

She'd never had sex with a man. But if she did, she had decided that she would want it to be with him. 

 

Something had changed. It wasn't quick, and it wasn't noticeable at first. But it changed when he let her kill Finn, and when he comforted her and when she saved him in the warehouse. Something warm and beautiful was beginning to bloom inside of her and as much as it scared her, it also excited her. 

 

She was stripping the bed by the window when he finally came in, all smiles and hair ruffled. Clarke ignored him. He fumbled around for a moment, silently walking over to the other bed and dropping his duffel. He cleared his throat. “Clarke?” he said finally. She pulled the clean comforter over the bed. 

“Hm?” he held up some bandages. 

“Are you going to help me?” she could hear the annoyance in his tone. She didn’t care. She was a little hurt by his flirting, though she wouldn’t admit it to him. 

“Yeah.” she walked around her bed, watching as Bellamy pulled his shirt and his pants off, sitting on the edge of the bed. His bandages were old, and his wounds needed cleaning. Clarke knelt down, between his legs and began unwrapping the dirty wrap from around his waist, when she noticed something growing in his boxers. It took her a moment to comprehend. 

Bellamy was hard.

Clarke gasped, sitting back away from Bellamy. He stood, realizing his dick had been inches from her face, covered himself and grabbed his pants. 

_ "Fuck-" _ Bellamy’s face was bright red.

Clarke’s hands shook, she tried to look anywhere but at him, as he shoved his clothes back on his body. 

"It's okay,” Clarke tried to reassure. “Bellamy-” he pushed passed her, throwing his arms through the sleeves of his jacket he turned at the door, Clarke stood in the middle of the room, clean bandages still in hand, eyes wide and confused by Bellamy’s sudden action. He bit his lip. 

“Clarke,” her expression changed. It was hopeful. He felt sick with guilt and shame. “I’m so fucking sorry.” he turned around, slamming the door behind himself. 

 

Time changed when Bellamy left this time. Clarke was alone, she felt the walls closing in and for the first time in what felt like forever, the dam that held her anxiety at bay erupted, they came pouring to the surface and she began to drown in them. 

Everything was dirty. Filthy. She was filthy. That’s why he didn’t want her. She would never be good enough. Finn had destroyed her. He had taken the one person who wanted her, and killed her. Lexa’s blood was on Clarke’s hands. And Finn…..

She didn’t know how much time had passed, but she could litterally see the germs and dirt and filth on the walls of the motel and on the beds, the clean sheets she had just put on. The front desk girl lied. Of course she did. They were dirty. Everything was disgusting.

Clarke had stumbled to the bathroom, locking herself inside she curled into a ball in the corner. Rationally, she knew she’d be fine. But rationality had run out the door and her anxieties were screaming at her. Clarke covered her ears, sobbing loudly by the toilet. 

She wasn’t sure when she fell asleep, but she did, slumping over and resting her head against the sink cabinet door. 

 

Bellamy fucked the front desk girl. They’d been out for hours, he’d taken her to a bar after her shift, and they drank and fucked in the van. He’d have to get a new mattress. Clarke wouldn’t like that. Clarke. He stumbled back towards his room, guilt and shame swirling inside of him. He was shit. He saw the look on Clarke’s face when he left her. He’d seen the way she’d looked at him lately. How she tried to flirt back. He knew what was happening. And he was doing his best to resist. He _cared_ , genuinely cared, about Clarke. And that was why he wouldn’t….why he couldn’t fuck her. He didn’t want to hurt her. He didn’t want her to die. He loved her. He really did. So he couldn’t just fuck her. Not her. 

The room was dark and empty. Bellamy looked around, panic beginning to settle in. His mind flashing back to the last time he was left standing alone in a motel room she was supposed to be in. He rushed to the bathroom door, he twisted the knob to find it locked. “Clarke?” he whispered. He could smell the booze on his breath. He knocked lightly. “Clarke? You in there Princess?”

 

There was a faint tapping sound that brought Clarke back to consciousness. She groaned sitting up, her head hurt and her eyes were swollen and puffy. She could feel snot running down her chin. She was still in the bathroom, still on the floor by the toilet. 

“Clarke? You in there Princess?” it was Bellamy. She felt a sob bubble up from her throat. She half sighed, half sobbed. 

“Go away.”

“Clarke. Open the door. Please.” she shook her head, putting her hands over her ears. She didn’t want to see him. Or hear him. She was dirty. She would never be clean again. She wanted to die. Anxiety was lapping at her, pulling out and coming back in like a wave, ready to drag her back under again. “Clarke.” this time it was firmer. A harder tone than she was used to, Clarke stood on shaky legs and walked over to the door. Slowly she unlocked it. 

Bellamy’s own eyes were red, and so was his nose. She could smell the alcohol wafting off of him. But there was something else. Sex? Was that it? It was sweat and something else. Clarke’s eyes narrowed, she glared at him. 

“You left me.” she meant to say it in accusation. Instead it sounded like a cry of betrayal. 

“I know.” it was all he could say. 

“Why did you leave me?” Bellamy stepped up, he reached out, sliding his hands over her shoulders and down her arms, trying to comfort her. “I wasn’t embarrassed. It was okay.” she began to cry again, and frustrated that she couldn’t stop, she cried harder. Bellamy slid his left hand back up her arm, resting it at her neck, his thumb brushing against her jaw. He tilted her face up. She could see his own tears in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” he leaned down and pressed a soft, chaste kiss to her lips. It was barely a brush, barely a press, but it was enough to make Clarke’s heart leap in her chest. “I’m sorry.” he said again. He wrapped his other arm around her and pulled her close. She reached up, fisting her fingers in Bellamy’s hair. He kissed her again. Softly, peppering kisses at the side of her mouth and down her neck. It felt great. He pulled her closer, wrapping both arms around her and burying his face in her shoulder. She hugged him back, soft tears still falling down her cheeks. 

“Don’t do it again.” he squeezed her, she felt his muscles flex, “Please don’t do that again.”

 

_ “And in other news, new footage was found today, of missing college student. Clarke Griffin. She is seen here, leaving a restaurant in Memphis Tennessee with none other than Bellamy Blake. Blake Is wanted in connection with several murders. If anyone has any knowledge of either of their whereabouts, please contact crime stoppers.” _

A grainy image of Clarke and Bellamy leaving the diner they had stopped in earlier appeared on the television screen. Clarke sat on her heels behind Bellamy, re wrapping his bandages. He winced when she cleaned his stitches with antiseptics. “Shit.” Bellamy hissed. 

“Sorry.” Clarke grumbled. They hadn’t really spoken since the kisses earlier. Bellamy sighed as she finished bandaging him back up. 

“Not you princess.” He pointed at the tv. “We gotta lay low for a while. Be extra careful now.” Clarke nodded. 

“Are we going back to the house?” She asked him. He shook his head. 

“No. Too risky. And I don't want Raven brought into this….we'll go south, down to Mexico or something. Get as far away from the media as we can for a while.”

“Will you still kill?”

“Of course.” Bellamy said this as if it were obvious.”But if they get too close to the house they could find out about Ravens hacking. It's too dangerous for her if we go back.” Clarke moved from behind him on his bed. She stood next to him, collecting the dirty bandages with gloved hands. 

“I don't want Raven to get in trouble either”  she threw the dirty bandages away and sat back down on her bed, across from Bellamy. They faced each other. A comfortable silence befell them, nothing but the tv made a sound. 

“I love you.” Clarke said suddenly. It broke the silence, and hung there, lingering above the noise of the television. Bellamy froze, then he laughed nervously. 

“I love you too Clarke.” She smiled. 

“Really?”

“Of course I do.” Bellamy smirked, “You’re good. You’re good for Raven. You’re good for me.” his cheeks turned a light pink as he admitted this “….You might even be good for Octavia. Just have to see what happens if you stick around.” 

“Do you still want me to leave?” she asked this quietly. Bellamy ran a hand through his hair. Clarke could tell he was uncomfortable with the conversation, but he wasn’t shying away from it. 

“No. No, I don’t.” he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, he rubbed his hands over his face. “But I’m not the guy for you Clarke.” she looked at him confused. 

“But...But you said-”

“You deserve a good guy. You deserve a good life. I can’t give it to you. Raven can’t give it to you…..You shouldn’t be here Clarke.” Clarke chewed on her lips and looked at her hands.

"But I don't want a good guy Bellamy....I want the guy who saved me-"

"I'm the guy who held a gun to your head-"

"-From the man who killed my girlfriend."

"-And ripped you away from everyone you loved."

“Maybe I  _ shouldn’t  _ be here,” she got up off her bed and sat down beside Bellamy, his bed dipping when she sat down. “But I’m here. And nothing can change that….I know you don’t believe in fate. But Finn would have gotten me either way. Maybe I got lucky when you kidnapped me. Maybe if you hadn’t….Maybe Finn wouldn’t have dated Raven and you wouldn’t have found us and saved us. Saved me. Everything happens for a reason. I don’t regret...meeting you,or being here.” Bellamy reached out tentatively, placing a large, warm hand on Clarke’s knee. 

"But you deserve so much better than this life I live Clarke."

"Why do you think you aren't good enough?"

"Because I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No," Bellamy stood, frustrated. "I'm not." Clarke opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off, "I'm not the guy you bring home to meet your parents. I'm not the guy who brings you flowers and chocolates just because....That's the kind of shit you deserve, and that's what I can't give you. If I fuck you Clarke...." he looked at her in the eye, he wanted her to know he meant business. "If I fucked you, Clarke that'd be it. You'd be mine. I'd never let you go again. You don't want that. And I don't want to do that to you. I saw the look on your face earlier Clarke. I know I hurt you when I left and I'm sorry, I am. But it wouldn't just be sex with you. Because I do care about you. And I do love you. And it's twisted and dark and fucked up but it's true. I don't want to lose you. You're my family....And I know if I fucked you I'd destroy you. You're too good for me." he was breathless by the time he was done speaking. Clarke didn't know what to say so she absorbed everything he said, she took it all into herself. 

"I see you Bellamy Blake," she finally said, getting to her feet and striding over to him. She reached out, unafraid of the germs and took his hand in hers. "I see the guy who washed the sheets on the mattress so I could sleep. The guy who brought me a bagel and a coffee, the guy who saved me from a creeper in an alley. The guy who didn't let me kill Finn by myself, but helped me conquer that demon. I see the guy who filled my slushie cup with coke slushie and handed it back to me with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen...And it's not easy admitting that, because Lexa was dazzling." Clarke smiled, running her thumb over Bellamy's knuckle. "I can take it. The murder is justified as long as the people you kill are bad people. That being said I think you need to give yourself more credit. You've saved more lives than you've taken." Bellamy let out a deep sigh, his shoulders relaxing, all tension gone from them. He closed his eyes and leaned down, pressing his forehead to Clarke's. 

"Clarke....I can't..." Clarke shushed him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, before she could say anything else a faint buzzing sound interupted their moment. Bellamy pulled his cell phone from his back pocket. "Raven?" he put her on speaker. 

"You guys okay? I haven't heard from you all day." Clarke was happy to hear her friend's voice. 

"Yeah, we're fine. Is there a job around here you need us to do?"

"That's not why I called." 

"What's up?" Bellamy could sense the tension in Raven's voice. 

"Bellamy's been put on the FBI's top ten. There's a massive manhunt underway right now. They're searching for you and for Clarke." Clarke's eyes widened, panic coursed through her, Bellamy's face stayed stony and guarded. 

"What do we do Ray? I need answers?" they could hear her clacking away on her computer in the background. Clarke began to bite her thumbnail nervously. 

"If you can get to the old bunker Indra showed us as kids, you two could stay there and lay low for a little while. It's not far from you guys."

"Send us the coordinates. we'll call you when we get there."

"I love you both."

"We love you too." Bellamy hung up the phone, turning to tell Clarke to get her things and get ready to leave. But she'd already disappeared into the bathroom. 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warnings: depression, anxiety, tying up Clarke, drug mentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's another short chapter. I've had a lot going on but I hope you guys enjoy the development

“Bellamy!” Clarke screamed hanging onto the dashboard as he veered to the right, police sirens roared behind them. Clarke wasn’t sure how they found them, but the cops had been chasing them for miles now. 

“Hang on!” Clarke braced herself as he pulled off the main highway and into the woods. Leaves and twigs crunched beneath the tires as Bellamy sped deeper into the woods. "It's alright." His voice was dangerously calm. His knuckles white on the steering wheel. The adrenaline pumped through Clarke’s veins like flames. Her heart raced in her chest as the sound of sirens started to fade, the further they went into the woods. 

Bellamy finally swerved out of the field and onto a dirt road. He slowed down and came to a stop beside a cornfield. He put the car in park and turned to Clarke with serious eyes. 

“ Clarke,” he licked his lips, “Listen, if I get caught before we get to the bunker I need you to go. Don’t fight or struggle, just go. I’ll take the fall for everything, you had nothing to do with it. I kidnapped you months ago. Just me. Don’t bring Raven, or Octavia into it. Okay?” Clarke stared at him, in wide eyed disbelief. “Okay?” he repeated. She nodded. 

“Bellamy you’re shaking.”

"Get out." He said after a moment. Clarke didn’t move, unsure if she had heard him right. ,

"I’m sorry?" she asked in confusion, she could feel her ears popping, her head was throbbing. 

"Get out. I'll be back for you." He got out of the van, ran to the other side and threw open the door, pulling Clarke down from her seat. She clung to his arm. 

“Bellamy….You can’t leave me-”

“I need to make sure we lost em.” she followed him to the driver’s side of the van. He pried her fingers from his arm. “I’ll be back Clarke. I promise.”

“What if you’re not?” fear was choking her. Bellamy grabbed her face, stroking her cheek gently. 

“I will Clarke.” He kissed her forehead. “If I’m not then do what I said. Okay. Find somebody. Anybody and go home.” He climbed back up in the van, slammed the door and took off. 

Clarke was left alone on the side of the road in the dark. 

Forty five minutes passed and the fear had suffocated Clarke. She sat on the side of the road, arms wrapped around her legs. She couldn’t breathe, she was rocking back and forth. It was too dark for her to not get lost. But the longer it took for Bellamy to come back, the more she began to believe he’d been caught. What would she do then? 

Sure she could find someone and get help. She could go back home. Back to her mother and Marcus. But what would she do? What would she be like? She certainly wasn’t the same girl she had been that day in the gas station. She had changed, become someone different. Most days she didn’t even recognize herself. 

She was just about to tears when suddenly lights began to glow in the distance, she looked up as Bellamy’s van came closer and closer to her. He stopped in front of her and hopped out of the van, looking cool and confident as ever. 

Clarke stood and flung herself into his arms, a broken sob escaping her. “I thought you weren’t coming back!” she cried. Bellamy hugged her tightly, burying his face in her shoulders. 

“I’m here,” he cooed. “I’m not going anywhere.” He lifted Clarke off the ground and carried her towards the passenger side of the van. 

“Promise me.” Clarke mumbled as he set her back on the ground. She pulled back, looking at Bellamy through tear stained eyes. “Promise you’re not going anywhere?” she asked. 

“I promise.” he rolled his eyes, back to cool and composed. “Now get in. Come on.”

 

It took two days, three hours, forty five minutes and sixteen seconds to get to the location. Clarke had been sleeping, head resting against the door, when she felt the van come to a slow and sudden stop. She slowly opened her eyes, Bellamy looked like he hadn’t slept in days, his eyes had dark circles, there was stubble on his cheek and little traces of white powder under his nose. He unbuckled his seat belt and hopped out of the car to come around and open Clarke’s door. The mid morning air was cool on her bare arms as she jumped down from the van. She looked around. 

“Where is it?” she asked him. He took her hand, leading her a little ways into a wooded area. They were in the middle of nowhere, not another soul for miles around. Bellamy pulled Clarke towards a small clearing, where an old, decrepit church sat silently rotting. She cocked her head to the side. “That’s not a bunker.” she stated the obvious. “It’s a church.” Bellamy rolled his eyes. 

“The bunker is beneath the church.” They came to the front doors of the church, the wood was faded and rotting, all Bellamy had to do was give it a light push and it opened for him. “No one’s been in here for years. But Indra used to say that the church goers were doomsday preppers. They stocked up on tons of shit and stored it in this underground bunker. That’s why it’s our hiding place.” They moved through the empty church, passed the altar and towards the preacher’s office. The door there was long gone but when Bellamy moved a ratty old rug, there sat a hidden trap door. He yanked it open. “Get in.” he said. Clarke peered down into it. IT was dark, she felt her heart leap into her throat. Bellamy placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay, I’m right behind you Princess.” Clarke smiled, swallowed the lump in her throat, and slowly descended into the darkness below. 

When she got to the bottom step her eyes had adjusted. She couldn’t see much but there were shapes and hallways, that much was true. Bellamy shut the trap door and turned on a flashlight, allowing it to shine down and wrap around Clarke like a blanket. He followed her down and came to stand beside her, pointing the flashlight towards a long corridor. 

“This way.” he said. He took Clarke’s hand again and led her deeper into the bunker. The flashlight shined on an area that looked like a common room. Bellamy left Clarke standing in the middle of this room, while he felt around for a light switch. Bright fluorescent light made Clarke shield her eyes, it was a common room, with plastic covered sofas and coffee tables. There were three other corridors that led off from this room, like an underground network of tunnels. 

“Wow,” she said in breathless amazement. Bellamy set his duffel bag down on one of the couches. 

“I take it you never got out much before,” he teased. Clarke snickered at him. 

“Very funny.” she could see the dust on the end tables. This place had been left alone for quite some time. Bellamy sensed her distress. 

“I’m sure there are some cleaning supplies in the kitchen...I can go and grab them if you want.” he offered. Clarke liked when he was nice to her, when he let his guard down and didn’t act like such a jerk. She nodded. 

“This place is so big, it should keep me busy for a while.”

 

Time moved slowly in the bunker. Raven called and checked in here and there on burner cell phones. She updated them on Octavia and the FBI. The hunt for Bellamy and Clarke was still going strong, fueled by Clarke’s mother’s seemingly desperation to get her daughter back. A couple friends of the family, Bellamy called them Monty and Jasper, brought food and drinks every week or so, always coming late in the evening and leaving quickly. Clarke still wasn’t sure exactly, how Bellamy and Raven knew the two, but they trusted them so she did too. Clarke also cleaned the bunker spotless. She explored, finding one corridor led to the bedrooms, another to the bathrooms and one more to the kitchen. It was a huge place, with enough space for her and Bellamy to keep their distance from each other. 

But as days passed into a week, and then a month, Bellamy began to change. He started to twitch. 

He was quiet. And very moody. He stopped talking. Wouldn’t say a word for days and then lash out at Clarke. She wondered if it was because he hadn’t killed, but she didn’t dare ask him either. His eyes wandered over her body. Tracing the curve of her breasts, the width of her hips, the firmness of her ass. He would watch her with these eyes, they were almost too intense. Clarke tried to act like she didn’t notice, but her heart raced and the tension was palpable any time they were in a room together. 

 

“I get it. I know you’re doing all you can Ray….I just...I need to.” Clarke came into the common room to see Bellamy sitting on the edge of a couch, his back was to Clarke, shoulders pinched and tight. She could tell he was in a mood by the tone in his voice. He sighed in frustration, running his hand through his hair. “Yeah...Okay. Love you too.” he tossed the phone down on the couch. 

“Still can’t leave?” Bellamy jumped and swore, whipping around, a surprised expression on his face. 

“Jesus Clarke. You scared me.” it wasn’t a teasing tone, he sounded annoyed still. Clarke continued to move towards him. She watched his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. “Yeah the FBI is still on my tail. It’s gonna be a little longer before we can leave.” she nodded, coming to a halt right in front of him, her toes touching his. She could feel the heat of his body radiating off of him in waves and see the perspiration that peppered his upper lip. His eyes were wide, his pupils dark as he took her in. “What are you doing?” he asked her. His eyes were dark, a beard was filling in his jaw and the circles under his eyes made them look sunken. She reached out and took his hand. 

“Can I ask you a serious question?” she asked. He cocked an eyebrow. 

“What?” 

“What’s wrong with you?” he chuckled nervously. 

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do,” Clarke scoffed. She hated when he played dumb. “You’ve been moody and nasty and fucking weird for weeks now. Tell me what’s wrong.” Bellamy looked away from her, a long sigh leaving his throat. He tapped his foot, fidgeting.

“I haven’t been this long….In a long time...Without….” he trailed off, unwilling to say what he felt. 

“Because you haven’t killed in a while?”

“It’s like a drug,” he mumbled. “I have to do it now or….” he shuddered. “I get off on it you know….It makes me feel powerful. Good. I like it.” Clarke chewed on her bottom lip. Guilt filled her. 

“I’m sorry Bellamy. I’m sorry I’ve brought so much attention to you. And I’m sorry you can’t do your job.”

“It’s my fault. I took you from that gas station.” Bellamy really did resemble a junkie going through withdrawal. Clarke stayed silent for a moment, the gears in her head turning until suddenly everything clicked into place. She knew what to do. 

“Come with me.” she had never felt so brave. She didn’t even wait for his response, just took his hand. 

“Clarke?” his voice was low, a warning. Clarke ignored it, leading him further into the bunker, down towards her bedroom. She pushed open the door and pulled him in, shutting and locking the door behind herself. Bellamy raised his eyebrows at her. 

“What the hell is going on with you?” he asked, no annoyance this time, genuine surprise. Clarke took her hair down from it’s ponytail, shaking it out and letting her golden curls fall over her shoulders. She went over to her dresser, opened a drawer and pulled out some rope. She turned back to see Bellamy looking at her again, like he wanted to eat her alive. She stepped up to him again and placed the rope in his hands. 

“Tie me up Bellamy.” 

“What?”

“You’re tense. You’re stressed. And it’s cuz you’ve been cooped up.” Clarke pushed past him and laid down on the bed, she gave him a reassuring smile. “You can do whatever you want….Unless I say stop. But….I want to help you. I want you to stop being so snippy.” Bellamy walked up to the side of the bed. He reached out, dragging his hand up Clarke’s leg before pulling away. 

“No. Clarke I can’t-”

“Bellamy,” she looked him in the eye. He tried to look away but he couldn’t. She held his gaze with determination. “Tie. Me. Up.” he took a shaky breath. 

“Clarke...Please I-” he licked his lips, eyes darting around, trying to find some reason, some way to say what he was feeling. “I could hurt you….I don’t want too…” she shushed him and laid her arms out, his nostrils flared, she was in a completely submissive position. “How is this any different from what Finn did to you?” her heart jolted at the name. She shivered with disgust. 

“I didn’t love Finn. I didn’t want to help him or be near him…..” she tried to hang onto the courage she had felt only moments before. “I know how you feel Bellamy. And I want you to feel better.” Bellamy fondled the rope in his hands. He stepped up to the bed, leaning over Clarke, his body was large, hsi shadow covered her. 

“There have to be rules.” he said. Clarke hummed her agreement. She could feel the tension rising again. Bellamy grabbed her hand and began to tie it to the bedpost. “Rule number one. Do not make too much noise. I might lose myself and forget it’s you. I don’t want to hurt you.” he moved to the other arm. “Rule two. I won’t fuck you.” Clarke uttered a groan of protest, but he shook his head. “I can’t Clarke...I’m...I just can’t do that to you.”

“Because I’m good?” she said sarcastically. Bellamy smiled, it was small and quick, but something. 

“You are my angel.” she snorted. 

“Not a very good one.” he shrugged. 

“Maybe so. But you’re still better than me.” he stepped back, admiring his handy work. He pulled a switchblade from his back pocket. His demeanor was changing, he was morphing from Bellamy to something else. The hair on the back of Clarke’s neck stood on end. 

He lifted her shirt, and gently dragged the knife over her belly, he didn’t cut her, but she watched his face, and the way his eyes rolled back in pleasure at the thought of doing so. She could see the bulge forming in his pants. “You’re so perfect.” he mumbled. “God you’re just so fucking good Princess.” Clarke took a deep breath, and fell with Bellamy into the rabbit hole.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: knife play, blood play, cursing, violence, blood, sexual content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. But fair warning, it does get a little dark. Please read the warnings and if any of that triggers you, you dont have to read this chapter, I will be doing a recap in the next chapter so you won't miss out. Please let me know your thoughts. <3
> 
> It's another sort of short one, but we are getting closer to the end my friends.
> 
> Find me on tumblr: bronterising

Clarke's shirt had been shredded, and tossed to the floor. Her pants had been hastily taken off. She lay, tied up, and almost exposed for Bellamy to see. Her body was covered in artificial cuts and scrapes from his knife, which he dragged over her skin. She let out a small whimper. 

“Don't.” Bellamy reached up, he placed his hand on her throat. “Don't do that.” He pressed his fingers down, she gasped, unable to catch her breath. He watched her. His eyes were dark, dangerous and aroused. A wave of adrenaline courses through Clarke's body. The sexual tension was undeniable and almost unbearable.

“B-Bellamy-” he let go, she coughed, trying to catch her breath. Bellamy dragged the blade down her hip again, she shivered. “Bellamy please,” she whined. He narrowed his eyes, glaring at her. 

“What?” he climbed onto the bed and straddled her hips, being careful not to press too much of his weight on her. He took the switchblade and leaned over her, lightly cutting into her skin. He would carve the initials B.B over her heart. She whimpered but not at the pain. “What?” Bellamy repeated. 

“I...I love….I love you.” she stuttered, he sat back admiring his work. He tapped the blade against his lip. 

“I love you too Clarke.” He reached down, tracing her lips now with the blade. “You're perfect.” 

“Really?” She asked. Bellamy bent down, his shaggy hair covered his face as he went back to lightly cutting her skin. 

“Yes.” he hissed. “You make me feel….i like the way you make me feel.” He mumbled, trying to find the words to say. His cold, calculating facade was beginning to fade, he was coming back to himself. He pushed off of her and took a few steps back. “I can't believe you let me do that.” Clarke smiled, her heart was still pounding, her underwear soaked. Her body was vibrating for him. Maybe they weren't on the same frequency, he acted like he couldn't feel it. He leaned over Clarke and began to untie her. 

“Do you feel better?” She asked. Bellamy nodded, releasing her hands, she rubbed her wrists. They were red. Bellamy sighed, he stretched his arms over his head and yawned. 

“You really are something else, you know that?” he turned his back to her as she grabbed her jeans, sliding them up over her hips. She went to the dresser and grabbed a new shirt, pulling it over her head. She admired the initials tattooed over her heart. He was watching her again, but this time it was much more docile, and relaxed.

“How so?” Bellamy snorted. 

“You just laid on a bed, let me tie you up and cut you Clarke.” she felt her heart drop. Was he disappointed? Mad? “No one’s ever done anything like that for me before.” Heat rose to her cheeks. She shrugged. 

“I wanted to help. And I knew you wouldn’t really hurt me.” Bellamy turned and grabbed her by her elbow, he pulled her towards him,staring her down. 

“You sure about that?” he teased. She smirked, yanking her arm away. 

“Positive.” Bellamy sighed. He reached up and began to fondle his handy work, touching the initials over her heart. “I hope that scars.” she meant to think it but said it aloud. Bellamy smiled softly, he leaned down and placed a kiss there. 

“Me too.”

“Bellamy?”

“Yes?”

“I want you.” he gave her an incredulous look, before chuckling nervously. 

“You have me.”

“Not what I mean.”

“Clarke-”

“What makes me so different from any other girl you’ve ever been with?” Clarke snapped. She didn’t give a damn if she was being a brat. She was wound up and horny. She knew he was too, she just didn’t understand why he wouldn’t take her. She was more than willing. 

“I care about you for one thing.”

“Do you?”

“Yes!” Clarke flinched as Bellamy raised his voice. He took a step back and ran a hand over his face with a frustrated groan. “Clarke Griffin. I l _ ove _ you. You’re my family…..I can’t just fuck you.”

“You don’t have to fuck me Bellamy. We could make love. Anything you want.”

“You’ve never even been with a guy before. How do you know you’ll like it?”

“I don’t know. But I trust you. And I love you. And that’s enough for me. I  _ want  _ it to be you.”

“You deserve candlelight and roses. You deserve long walks and star gazing. I can’t give any of that to you.” 

“Stop telling me what I deserve. I don’t _ care _ what you think I deserve. I know I want you.” now she was getting angry. She knew he had feelings for her. He had to. So why wouldn’t he just give in damnit. He walked towards her, reaching up to cradle her face in his palm, he tilted her up to look at him. His eyes were lost, confused and wanting. There was a glint Clarke hadn’t noticed before. 

“You’re too good for me Clarke. I don’t deserve you. There. I said it. Does that satisfy you now?” He dropped his hand left the room. 

  
  


Bellamy kept his distance from Clarke in the days that followed. He was better though, not so twitchy or jumpy. As if the little time they’d had in Clarke’s room had been the perfect medicine. She wasn’t having attacks so much anymore. She could feel it all fading away. Her anxieties, Finn, Lexa. She didn’t dream about her anymore. She didn’t dream about anything. But she did wallow, wallow in the rejection Bellamy had left her with. She thought about Bellamy alot. 

She felt so close to him, but didn’t really know him. At least that’s how he made her feel. He was avoiding her again, taking Raven’s calls in the next room, handing her the phone silently. Conversing with Monty and Jasper when they dropped by, only to fall silent again as they left. Clarke started to spend more time in her room again, sketching Bellamy and Lexa all hours of the night. The two people she had loved most in the world. 

  
  


“Hey.” Clarke looked up from her sketch to see Bellamy standing awkwardly in the doorway. He’d shaved, and looked like he just got out of the shower. Clarke flipped her sketch over, so he couldn’t see it was him. 

“Hey,” she replied. 

“Raven said it’d be safe to go out for a little while. The search for us a further south now. We still have to stay here till things die down but….We should be okay for now. Do you wanna go out?” Clarke chewed on her bottom lip. Hurt was swirling in her belly. She shook her head. 

“Nah I’m fine. You go.” she flipped her sketch back over and ignored him. He shifted, he could sense her pain. 

“Clarke-”

“Go Bellamy. You want to get away from me so bad then do it.” she snarled at him, forcing the tears to stay behind her eyes. What the fuck was wrong with him? He didn’t talk to her for days and now all of a sudden he wants to go out? She was tired of the whiplash. The hot and cold. “If you hate me then hate me. If you love me then love me. Quit acting one way one day and another the next. Either your all in or you’re all out. But I’m done with the games.” he didn’t say another word, just shut the door as he left. 

  
  


_ Clarke caught up to her. Lexa was standing right in front of her. In the red dress, with the carriage. Clarke reached out, placing a hand on Lexa’s shoulder. The other girl turned, her eyes were full of sadness.  _

 

_ “Lexa.”  _

 

_ “You’re forgetting Clarke.” Clarke looked at her in confusion.  _

 

_ “What?” _

 

_ “Me. You’re forgetting me.” Lexa began to fade.Clarke reached out,only to touch the air. _

 

The sound of laughter jolted Clarke from her sleep. She threw her blankets off of herself and tiptoed to the door. She opened it slightly, to see Bellamy, arms wrapped around a woman, walking tipsily towards his bedroom. Anger flared within Clarke. How stupid could he be? She shut her door and climbed back into bed, turning her light on and pulling her sketches out. 

The noises were horrendous. Whoever this girl was that Bellamy brought home, she watched all porn movies. Either that or she herself was an actress because the noises she made….They were  _ beyond _ cringe worthy. Clarke gave up trying to sketch and sat on her bed, arms wrapped around her legs, listening to Bellamy fuck the other girl. 

 

Clarke was jealous. She was angry. And she made a decision. 

 

If Bellamy wanted her tainted. If he wouldn’t have her clean and whole…..

 

She would become just as dirty as he was. 

 

She heard the door to his room open and she heard him pad barefoot down the hall. She left her bed and followed the sound of his footsteps to the kitchen, where he was pouring himself a glass of water. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Bellamy jumped, spilling the water on the floor. He was shirtless, sweaty and in a pair of pajama pants that hung low on his hips. Clarke tried not to stare too hard. She was still pissed. 

“You gotta stop sneaking up-”

“What the _ fuck _ are you doing Bellamy?” his eyes narrowed. 

“You didn’t want to go out.”

“Would you have fucked me if I had?” his eyebrow quivered slightly. 

“No.” he admitted. 

“So you just bring a stranger here. Show her our location? She could rat us out if she figures out who you are.”

“She won’t. Echo’s cool.”

“You don’t even know her.”

“Neither do you.” Clarke glared at him.  She picked up a serrated knife from the kitchen table. She had used it earlier when making dinner for herself. 

“Either you kill her. Or I will. She’s too much of a liability.” and this time Clarke left him standing in the kitchen alone. She prided herself on the look of astonishment that had crossed his face. He looked so...surprised.    
  


 

Clarke stood outside the door of Bellamy’s bedroom. He was taking too long. She could hear the shower running, she knew what he was doing. He didn’t think she’d do it. He didn’t think she had the guts. Not Clarke. She was too much of a goody goody.  She stepped into the dark bedroom and stood over Bellamy’s bed. The girl was pretty. She’d give him that. He didn’t have bad taste. Her hair covered the side of her face, Clarke reached out and brushed it back with her fingertips, only to have the girl grab her hand and hold it. Her hand was soft and warm, but calloused. She was a hard worker. Clarke didn’t feel afraid of the germs. Not this time. She was angry. Very. Very angry. 

 

Clarke raised the knife in her hand, as almost as if she were in an Alfred Hitchcock movie she brought it down. She began to stab the girl, over and over again. 

 

Blood spattered after the first blow. Clarke didn’t stop. The girl woke up, she screamed, tried to run, but Clarke climbed onto the bed. The girl was trying to crawl on her belly, to get away. Clarke sat on her lower back and continued to stab. Her mind was white, blank of anything but the rage she was feeling. She roared as she brought both hands up and stabbed the girl, severing her spinal cord. The girl howled and the bathroom door opened. 

“Clarke!” Bellamy yelled. She thought it was funny. She started to laugh hysterically. The girl was dead now. But Clarke kept stabbing, harder and harder. Bellamy raised his hands and flicked the bedroom lights on. 

Clarke was drenched in blood. It stained the walls, the bed, Clarke’s hair and face. She brought the knife down one last time, leaving it stuck in Echo’s back. She looked up at Bellamy, her eyes wild, her expression dangerous. If looks could kill, he’d be dead. She grinned. 

“I told you….” she slid off the girl, off the bed and padded towards Bellamy. “I told you either you kill her or I would.” she reached up, pulled Bellamy’s face down and kissed his cheek, leaving his date’s blood on his freshly cleaned face. She looked him in the eye as she pulled away. “She shouldn’t have been here.” With that she left the room.    
  


 

Her hands shook as she turned the shower water on in her own bathroom. She wasn’t shaking from guilt or fear though. It was adrenaline. She understood what Bellamy meant. She had felt like a God standing over that girl. She had decided whether she lived or died. She could give life or she could take it. She was the Commander of Death. It had come as easily to her as killing Finn had. But the thrill was even more intense. She stepped under the water and washed the blood from her body. It circled the drain like Finn’s blood had. Only this time she didn’t worry if she’d done the right thing or not. It didn't matter to her anymore. 

 

All that mattered was if Bellamy got the message she was trying to send out. 

 

Clarke ran her fingers over the initials he had carved into her skin, when suddenly the shower curtain was yanked back. The rings went flying as Bellamy yanked it down. She looked at him with a surprised expression. His nostrils flared and his eyes were blown wide with arousal. 

“Bella-” he stepped into the shower and grabbed her, pulling her naked body close to his. He grabbed her chin in his hands and brought her face up, smashing his lips against hers. A surge of arousal shot through Clarke. She dug her nails into his shoulders, he pushed her into the wall, the water pouring down their bodies, making it difficult to tell what was sweat and what was bath water. 

The kiss was all teeth and tongue and sucking and biting. His hands roamed over her body, roamed over the cuts he had made. He grabbed a handful of her ass in one hand and massaged her breast in another, while his tongue rubbed methodically against her own. She could barely breathe, her head was spinning. 

When he pulled away he was breathless, his eyes were narrowed and his lips were curled into a sadistic smirk. He held her so tightly she felt as if she would suffocate. “You love me?” he asked her. 

“Yes.” she said before he could even finish the sentence. 

“You trust me?” she nodded. His hands slid up her body, it was as though every hesitation he had about her had flown out the window. He didn’t care anymore. 

“With my life.”

“And….” their noses brushed, he was almost cross eyed, they were so close. “You want us to be together?” 

“Please.” she whimpered. Her hands slid down his body, she grabbed his ass, pushing herself against him, she could feel his cock against her thigh, hard and pulsing. He wanted her too. 

“Okay.” he lamented. “You’re mine.” he pressed his lips to hers again, just as harshly as before. There was nothing soft in his kiss or his touch, when he picked her up, letting her wrap her legs around his waist. He didn’t bother to shut the shower off as he carried her from the bathroom and towards her bedroom. 

He tossed her down onto her bed, she got a full look at him. His naked body glistened with the shower water and his eyes glowed. He crawled onto the bed and over top of her, slotting their bodies together. He brushed her hair out of her face. 

“Why now?” she asked. Bellamy was inches from her face, almost ready to smother her in kisses again. He licked his lips and sat back up on his elbows. He looked at her seriously. 

“I can’t tell you-”

“-Don’t bull shit me Blake. I’ve been begging you for weeks-”

“-You killed her.” she pursed her lips letting him finish. “You killed her and I liked it. I liked watching you. I liked that you laughed. I liked the look in your eye...You were gorgeous and powerful…..I stood there and looked at her after you left and it dawned on me…..You and me….Maybe in some twisted way we do belong together?” Clarke smirked. She leaned up and bit his lip, dragging it between her teeth. 

“I thought you didn’t believe in fate.” she said as she pulled away. Bellamy shrugged. Leaning back down, he placed his lips on her shoulder. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, amazed at how soft and pliant it was. 

“That was before I met you Clarke Griffin.” she smiled as he sucked on her shoulder, placing hard kisses up her neck and along her jaw. She sighed, letting herself melt in his capable hands. She was his. And she would be. Forever. 

  
  
  


“That’s all she told me.” Zeke stood in front of his boss’s desk. Hands at his sides, and guilt in his gut. He liked Raven, he really did, but he had a job to do. Diozaya smiled at him and nodded. 

“So he’s got her in a bunker just south of here. Think you can get her to give you the coordinates?”

“I might be able to….Just promise Raven gets immunity.” Diozaya waved her hand, leaning back in her chair. 

“I just want to send the Griffin girl home.” she paused. “You said something about her being involved in the murder sprees?”

“No ma’am she is an unwilling captive.” Diozaya nodded. 

“Get her to give you those coordinates. They’re probably still there waiting us out.”


End file.
